Page 79 of Breaking Away

Work… I rub my sternum, wondering what he means when it clicks.

My laptop. The photos I was editing earlier. I cross my arms, more hugging my chest than anything. “No—I don’t show anyone my work.”

“Aren’t you going to send those images to a client?”

“Yes, but that’s different.” It’s localized exposure. For a purpose.

Before I can defend myself, he asks, “When did you switch from drawing to photography?”

My heart stumbles over a beat. “You remember that?”

“Remember what?”

“My drawings.”

“In high school, you always used to carry around a sketchbook.”

“I still draw.” I suck in a breath, ignoring how much more fluttering there is inside me. “But I—um—found I like people in motion more. It’s—um—different.”

“Is it your thing?”

I don’t know how to answer that.

“Is photography what you want to do?” he asks again.

“It won’t pay the bills?—”

There’s the tiniest of smirks sliding his mouth up. “That’s not what I asked. I asked if it’s what you love to do.”

“Not everything works out,” I deflect.

“I saw your editing,” he says.

I go utterly still. The thought of him watching me edit?—

I can’t believe it. How long did he watch?

It’s like I’m suddenly naked and have nowhere to hide.

“You have talent,” he tells me flatly, as if there is no doubt.

I press into the cushions behind me.

“How did you learn all that?” Lokhov asks.

“There are hundreds of courses online…”

“How many of them have you taken?”

So many.

“Some,” I mumble. “But I’m still—I mean, I’m not a professional.”

He’s aprofessionalhockey player. Tyler is aprofessionalhockey player. My dad is aprofessionalcoach. I’m self-taught and not smart in the way other people are. I have a feeling Dmitri doesn’t know I didn’t get into college. I should tell him, so he can lose this look on his face. The one that says he’s completely impressed by me.

“You have something—” he starts.

“Can we talk about something else?” I blurt out. I know myself. I can’t stand the thought of someone praising my workbecause then I get inside my head, wondering if they are just saying nice things tobenice. That it’s not true. That I’m being lied to.

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