Page 108 of Breaking Away

“Oh—You should thank Dmitri. It’s not my party or my place.”

As a group, we angle ourselves to look at him.

Hughes and him are in a rhythm, flipping burgers and arguing… with their body language, strangely, completely relaxed. A happy place for them?

Raghr scratches his head. “Do you think Lokhov will like my housewarming gift? It’s tickets to the spa.” He glances at me. “For both of you.”

“Oh, we’re not—” I’m stuttering. What I mean to say is we’re not together.

Matt jumps in. “Mention it to him later. If he grunts at you, then you’re in.”

I blink, wondering out loud, “Does that bother you guys? Him not being…”

A chorus of answers finishes my sentence.

“Remotely social.”

“Talkative.”

“A people person.”

Quinn smiles. “I grew up so poor that when I got my first real paycheck with the team, I fumbled it pretty badly. And I didn’t think anyone would sympathize, but Lokhov overheard me stress about it. And later my assistant got a message from his assistant. It was the contact information for his financial advisor.”

“He found me crying,” admits Jai. “My boyfriend cheated on me. And I didn’t want to tell anyone at the time, because I was so embarrassed. Lokhov found me breaking down in the lockerroom. He came over, sat down, and waited. Didn’t say anything, but listened. For thirty minutes.”

I see it again, what I first spotted a while back. A typhoon is across the shore. The power of Dmitri Lokhov. Except, it’s closer to me than it ever has been. I—I can’t say I’m breathing evenly now. It’s one thing for my body to react to him physically, but another to be caught up by these other parts of him.

“My brother got cancer,” says Matt. “He’s okay now, but we held a fundraiser in his name. Lokhov donated the most out of anyone.”

There are other stories. So many of them.

The genuine care and respect everyone has for this man matches a truth that has been creeping up on me. That Dmitri Lokhov is good. The best kind of good because his goodness is not advertised or bragged about, or used to gain him any favors. It’s there, in the background, so matter-of-factly.

He came to Seattle after he heard I was homeless and offered me a place to live.

He said he had other business in the city, but now I’m not so sure.

In fact, this whole barbecue fulfills a promise to me. All in return formebeing brave enough to take my pictures.

If you do it, I’ll invite them all over, regardless of whether we win or not tonight.

I clear my throat and excuse myself. My chin dips. I’m looking into the distance as if answers might pop up there.

Remember, he doesn’t do relationships. And he’s got his life all figured out, and you have no permanent place to live or job to support yourself.

I weave around players, going inside, rushing to my room. My pulse doesn’t go down until I grab it, needing it desperately suddenly. My camera.

Having it in front of my face and taking photos is my lifeline, especially when I don’t understand what I’m feeling anymore and what this yearning is that stirs so deeply inside me.

I ache.

44

DMITRI

I flip the beef over,and then glance over my shoulder. Kavi is with the team.

There was a moment where she left, but now she’s back. She’s talking and photographing the team, capturing them laughing. She’s not fidgeting.

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