Page 104 of Breaking Away

That’s where I find him, drinking a dirt-colored smoothie. His back is to me and behind him is the sprawling city. Against all the hustle, noise, and concrete, he cuts a stark figure in black. This is Dmitri when he’s not wearing a jersey or his after-game suits, or his gym clothes with that wretched backwards baseball cap. He’s got well-fitted trousers on. The taper of his shoulders to waist is criminal, emphasized by a black-collared shirt. Short-sleeved. Tattoos present, of course, but also the glint of silver rings on his hands.

My chest explodes… with butterflies. I’m incapable of dealing with this mafioso arrogance on top of everything else. It’snotfair for anyone to look like this.

“Hey,” I blurt out.

Lokhov turns around.

Charged silence thickens between us. I don’t know what to say. What’s appropriate after he wore an apron, fed me ice cream, and then watched me touch myself?

Do you like touching me?

It kills me.

So you should stop?

That would kill me more.

Are we going to talk about it?

Dmitri slants his head. “About last night—” He goes rigid. “Wait. Why did you just step back?”

“I didn’t—” I have.

“You’re inching away from me.”

“Am I?” I force myself to stop. “Not on purpose.”

His posture stutters. “Is this because of yesterday? I’m sor?—”

“No,” I interrupt. He can’t apologize. “Last night was—perfect.”

It was. I can’t lie and say it wasn’t.

He steps forward. “But? Why do I hear a but?”

Does he?

Maybe it’s there because I stayed in a relationship with Tyler for so long. There were so many times he said or did things to upset me, but I let them go. And I kept doing errands for him and my dad, even when I didn’t want to. I let myself stand in the same spot forever in my life.

And now I don’t know what Dmitri wants, but I also know if I ask him what he wants, I risk the progress I’m making on focusing on myself… because then his needs will take shape in my head.

Not that he’s looking for a relationship. Last night he told me as much. He hasn’t had girlfriends.

And if Dmitri has never had a girlfriend, it’s because he’s never wanted one. He’s not a relationship person whichshouldn’tsurprise me. So many athletes I’ve been around prefer physical relationships, never putting a label on anything, and having multiple partners.

This would be a fling, right? That’s all?

But he’s also the person who owns this penthouse, a refuge that gives me space to figure out my life. How can I risk messing that up?

I suck in a breath, glancing away. “… I’m worried about more change. I need things not to get complicated between us,” I say quietly. “Can they not change? Is that okay?”

Dmitri doesn’t answer. I’m afraid to see how he’s reacting to this, so I don’t check. A moment later, his knuckle is on my chin, lifting my face to his. I’m having trouble reading his expression. He’s got it locked down so tight.

“Whatever Kavi Basra needs, she gets.”

“It can’t ever be that simple.”

“It is for me.”

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