Page 10 of Just a Number

Tom chuckles as he walks away to the kitchen with the dirty plates. He shoots a wink in our direction and Cassidy blushes.

“Is he still giving you lots of fodder for your smutty book writing?” I have to ask. She’s a good friend, willing to spill the beans with me, and it’s been interesting to hear about all the positions the three of them have got themselves in over the last few months.

“After we had our chat, he railed me seven ways to Sunday. Pretty sure I came so hard, I passed out for a minute.”

I smile but can’t help but feel a little left out. My sex life isn’t exactly jumping at the moment. I’ve had two one-night stands since my separation a year ago and neither was satisfying enough to repeat.

When I first got together with my ex-husband, I’d been happy with our sex life, but speaking with Cassidy and with all the smut I read these days, I have realised that I’ve not been very adventurous at all. Perhaps it’s something I should aim to do. Let my hair down and live a little. Not that I think I could handle two men like Cassidy, but even one adventurous lover would be fun. I think that’s what I need. I’m not convinced I’m built for one-night stands because I need to be comfortable enough to be intimate with someone. I don’t think I necessarily need love and a stable relationship, but I’d love to try a friendship with some fun side benefits.

“I think I need a lover,” I blurt out before I have time to stop myself. “Someone to have some fun with and explore all these sex positions and stuff I’ve never tried before.”

Cassidy rubs her hands together with glee. “You’re saying we can help find you a man?”

“Doesn’t have to be a man. Just saying,” Abby contributes, raising her eyebrows at me.

“I’m pretty sure I’m straight, but I think at this point in my life, I’m willing to consider all my options.”

“You say you need a lover? So you’re not looking for a one-off thing?” Cassidy clarifies.

“I was just thinking about that. I think I need to at least be friends with someone to be comfortable enough to try new things. I don’t think I’ll be able to psyche myself up enough to do it with a one-night stand.”

“Hmmm, anyone you’ve already got your eye on?”

A blush creeps up my cheeks as my first thought goes towards Alex. I shake my head vehemently to free my mind from that intrusive thought.That can stay locked away, thank you very much.

“I’ve had a look on the dating apps but they just turn me right off.”

“We need to find you a man that will take care of you. Perhaps one that comes with a personal recommendation.” Abby is leaning across the bar, adding to the conversation. “You need someone that knows what he’s doing.”

“What about Sean?” Cassidy asks Abby.

“Nah, he’s with someone just now and he’s adamant he’s trying monogamy for a while. He’s a barman here,” she explains before pausing and frowning in concentration. “We do have some new blood working here. But I’ve not tested him out yet.” She winks and I laugh in amazement.

“Let me know if you do and if you’d recommend him,” I joke with her. Abby turns to serve a customer or two for a few minutes.

“What’s your type? What gets your juices flowing?” Cassidy asks me.

“I don’t even think I know.”

“Anyone got you fluttering recently?”

Again, I blush as one person comes to mind.

“Oh, come on, you can tell me…”

“It’s just, it’s nothing. Zack had a new friend stay over last night. He’s older than Zack, but still way too young for me. I can’t lie—seeing him practically naked on my couch wasn’t the worst way to wake up… and don’t get me started on his tattoos.” I grimace, disgusted with myself that I’ve spoken the words out loud.

Cassidy claps her hands with glee. “Someone younger could be perfect. They’ll match your stamina. You’re in your sexual peak right now, so a guy your age won’t be able to keep up. Let’s find you a young one.”

“I dunno. It feels weird when I have an eighteen-year-old son. I should be more respectable.”

“It’s not like you’re gonna be fucking in front of Zack, Mel. What you do behind closed doors is your own business. Don’t let outdated societal expectations get in the way of your pleasure!”

I nod, trying to get on board with the idea of a younger man.

“Okay, but not a friend of Zack’s. And not too young. I’m forty. So maybe thirty?”

“Pfft! Go younger!” Cassidy tries to encourage, but I shake my head adamantly. “Alright then, I’ll ask Tom if he knows anyone. He might even be able to give you hispersonalrecommendation.” She waggles her brow at me.

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