Page 85 of Just a Number

“Through here, Zack,” I shout back.

“What’s wrong? You said you needed me to come as early as possible.” He usually appears on a Saturday for a fry-up breakfast, whether he’s staying with his father or here at home. After the fallout last year, I’d been so grateful when he’d accepted my first invite and it’s now a regular part of my week—catching up with him over a home-cooked brunch—but I wanted to make sure I got to speak to him today while Alex is still asleep.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to panic, but I really needed to speak with you.”

“What’s up?” he asks as he throws himself down on the stool next to me.

“Alex is back. He got back last night. I wanted to tell you before you found out from anyone else.” I keep a close watch on his expression, but it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking.

“What do you mean by back? Back for good? Or for a visit?”

“He’s back for good. And I want him to be a part of my life. We’ve decided to make a go of it.” I hold my breath, unsure how much more to say.

“Oh,” comes his mumbled response. I’m on tenterhooks waiting for his reaction and the words he says next take me utterly by surprise. “You really love him, don’t you?”

“I do. I think it’s important that he went to Scotland for his career and for some freedom, but I’m really glad he’s back.”

“I could see you were missing him, Mum. I could tell something wasn’t right. I don’t pretend to get this thing between you, but you deserve to be happy.” He pauses to draw in a breath before continuing, “I know you put me and Dad first for a really long time and you struggled when Dad left. You’ve changed since you met Alex, but then you just seemed so sad when he left. Sadder than when Dad went.” He gives me a tentative smile and relief swells inside me. I reach across and squeeze him tightly.

“Thank you for understanding. I don’t know where this thing with Alex is going, but I’m serious about him and he wants to make a go of it. I need to try, Zack. I need to do more of the things that make me happy. You’re right. I’ve been sad since he went to Scotland. It helped me realise how important it is to lean into happiness and the things that bring us joy.” I pause, drawing in a breath, and ease back to look him in the eye. “For such a long time, it was you, Zack, that was my first and only priority. And I don’t regret that for a second. You’ve grown into a man before my eyes and I’m so proud to be your mother.” Tears well in my eyes as I continue, “But you don’t need me as much anymore. I don’t want to smother you. I know you need to go and do your thing. I’ll always be here to support you however you need it, but I also need to do my thing, too, now. Is that okay?” I ask breathlessly.

“Of course it is. You deserve the best, Mum. Just don’t do sappy stuff around me, okay?”

“We won’t, I promise.” I chuckle and let the relief wash over me. We’ve a way to go to figure out how we all fit together, but this feels like a good start.

I wake Alex around midday and tell him to get dressed. “You need to get up,” I tell him. He reaches out to grab me, but I learnt my lesson last time and sidestep his hold.

He frowns at me. “Get over here for a cuddle.”

“I can’t. People are coming.”

“Yes, we are people and if you get over here, I’ll have us both coming in no time.”

It’s a wrench having to say no, but there’s no time to waste.

“I mean it. You need to be showered, dressed and downstairs in twenty minutes, boyo.”

“What’s my reward?”

“How about brunch from the deli?” I ask with a quirked brow.

“I’ll take it, as long as you add in a taste of that delicious pussy of yours afterwards.”

“It’ll be later, but yes, that’s an acceptable deal,” I say with a chuckle. I leave him as he climbs out of the bed before I lose my will and decide to stay and get distracted.

I make my way downstairs and check everything in the kitchen. I really hope this is the right thing to do. I’ve been busy since my heart-to-heart with Zack. I popped to the local deli for the spread of food on the breakfast bar: pastries, fruit, muffins, cold meats, and cheeses. Hopefully, enough to feed everyone.

I potter around, getting glasses out for the orange juice and, at the last moment, grab a bottle of prosecco from the fridge.Fuck it, we’ll have mimosas.

“Alex,” I call up the stairs as I pass towards the door.

“I’m coming,” he shouts as he comes down the stairs wearing faded jeans, a light grey t-shirt and bare feet. He looks yummy and I take it all in with a dreamy smile. “Who’s that?” he asks, nodding his head towards the door.

“You’ll see,” I say as I open it. Even I’m overwhelmed by the crowd standing on the doorstep and I invited them. I just wasn’t expecting them all to arrive en masse.

“What have we got here, then? Whose is that bike? Laura says it looks just like Alex’s.” Cassidy is a whirlwind of questions as she steps across the threshold to pull me into one of her signature hugs. “Oh,” she gasps as she must see the man waiting near the bottom of the steps. “It is Alex.”

“Hey,” Alex says. I look over when Cassidy releases me to gauge his reaction. Is he wondering why they’re all here?

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