Page 78 of Just a Number

“But why…” I trail off, unsure how to word the question I want to ask her.

“Why do I care?” she replies, raising a brow in the exact same way her brother does. It’s uncanny.

“Well, yeah. Surely he’s better off without me.”

“Mel, you make him happy and he deserves to be happy.”

“I hope that by the end of this he’ll have a better handle on what makes him happy and I don’t think it’ll be me,” I say. “And I’m not saying that with self pity. He deserves the best,” I tell her.

“We’ll see,” she says with a frown. And then we both get drawn into the conversation with the others about the best meals they’ve ever eaten.

Chapter thirty-two

Mel

“Are you sure about this?” Cassidy asks as we approach the entrance to Laura’s tattoo studio. I draw in a deep breath, blowing it out slowly.

“Yes, I want to do this. I need to do it,” I tell her with determination.

“Okay, then let’s do it.” She gestures for me to lead the way, and I open the door.

The walls are covered with art prints as well as tattoo designs. It would take me hours to take in every detail. There’s a hum from the tattoo guns and several couches placed around the room.

“Mel, Cassidy, hey,” Laura greets us from behind the reception desk with a smile. “It’s good to see you.”

“Hey, Laura,” I respond. “I made it.”

I’ve been intrigued by tattoos for years, but something always held me back from getting one. The weight of other people's judgement, I guess. Well, fuck that. Since my time with Alex, I’mtrying so hard not to let it matter. To do things because I want to do them and not because I think it’s what’s expected of me.

“Nervous?” Laura asks, tilting her head.

“A little. I’m not big on pain. But I don’t want to let that stop me doing this. I’m so pleased with the design you’ve come up with.”

“And I’m dying to see it,” Cassidy chimes in. “You’ve been very secretive about the whole thing,” she says teasingly.

“I was worried I wouldn’t go through with it, but there’s no going back now,” I declare. My eyes meet Laura’s gaze. “You will be gentle with me, won’t you?”

She chuckles. “Of course. Alex would kill me if I wasn’t.”

I wondered when he would come up in conversation. I could have gone anywhere to get this tattoo, but I’ve been following Laura on Instagram and have fallen in love with her fine line style of tattoos. It just seems right that she’s the one I come to.

“Does he know?” I ask, not mad, just intrigued.

Laura shakes her head. “No, I felt like it was breaking a confidence. I’ll tell him later if you’re happy for me to?”

“Maybe,” I answer noncommittally. What good could come from him knowing I got a tattoo? He’s got his own stuff he’s doing now. But I pause for a moment, realising that he’d probably be proud of me.

“Let’s get you comfortable. Come on over.” Cassidy sits on the chair to the side while I settle on the vinyl recliner.

“I’ve got the design ready in a couple of different sizes like we discussed. Ready to see them?” Laura asks.

I nod, excitement bubbling up in my chest.

She pulls out some papers from the set of drawers beside her and holds them out to me. I’ve seen the drafted design on my phone screen, but this is different. A gasp escapes me and the tears that well in my eyes surprise me as I look over the design.

“It’s beautiful. Just what I wanted.” I give Laura a teary smile.

“I’m so glad. And you’re happy with the wording?”

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