Page 69 of Just a Number

“Alex, don’t.” She draws in a sorrowful sigh.

“Come on, Mel,” I ease back to look her in the eye, “we’ve got such a good thing going here. Don’t let it go. We can figure everything else out. Our future doesn’t have to be textbook. We can find a way forward that’s unique to us.” She closes her eyes tight, like she’s trying to block me out.

I really hoped this sense of ease between us would help my cause. Abby and Cassidy suggested that, if given the chance, I take control and show Mel how amazing we can be together. I’ve tried that, but I’m not sure it’s worked.

She leans up and kisses me on the lips.

“We can’t, Alex. But I want you to know that I’m never going to forget this. This time I’ve spent with you, the things we’ve done together, they’re going to stay with me forever.”

I think, up until those words left her mouth, I genuinely thought I’d be able to win her over. But it’s not to be. She’s completely set on this. I draw in a shaky breath. She squeezes me tight again and I know it’s her goodbye.

“I have to go.”

I can’t speak. I don’t know where to begin with all the things I want to say to her, so I keep my lips closed and nod. I sit up, holding my hand out to help her up.

It doesn’t take long to get dressed. She shoves her feet into running shoes I hadn’t even noticed by the door before turning to look at me. Her mouth opens and then closes again, but sheends up only giving me a sad smile before she turns to the door and leaves.

I’m left standing there, naked and broken.

For the next few days I’m simply going through the motions. I work as many hours as possible, increasing the time I spend at the pottery studio. I’ve made more vases in the last three days than I have in the last three months. But keeping myself busy seems to be the only way through this. Tom and Abby were so impressed with the job I did in the cellar that they found me other jobs to do until my black eye healed enough to get back behind the bar.

I stand in front of Tom late on Friday afternoon, and he gives me a nod. “You’ve done great work this week. Abby and I have both been impressed with your work ethic. We want you permanently on staff with set shifts and an option for overtime if you want them. How does that sound?”

“That sounds great, thank you. I really appreciate it.” It’s what I’ve been hoping for, a steady part-time job that allows me to carry on with my ceramic work. But, like everything else this week, I feel flat.

“You okay? You get everything sorted out after the black eye?” Tom asks.

“Not really, no. But I’ll figure it out at some point.”

He claps me on the shoulder. “Work and keeping busy can help. But as someone that always used to do that, sometimes you need to actually talk to people and feel stuff too.” It’s the most talkative Tom’s ever been. I’m shocked at his openness in discussing emotions. He shrugs. “I’m not particularly good at it though, so maybe cry on Abby’s shoulder if need be, yeah?” He smirks and I huff out a laugh.

“Sure thing, boss.”

Abby has been surprisingly quiet these last few days. I was convinced that she and Cassidy would be trying to get some kind of live updates about my love life, but she hasn’t mentioned it at all. It’s weird. After the two of them being so pushy before, I thought they’d be gagging for information. Unless Mel has had a word with them and forbade it.

I haven’t seen Mel all week. I’ve been staying away from the house as much as possible. I can’t help but glance up to her window every night when I roll the bike to a park but it’s been in darkness since she ended things and by the time I’ve got up each day, her car has been gone from the driveway. Looks like she’s avoiding me as much as I’m avoiding her.

Another couple of weeks go by and we’re still avoiding each other. And I’ve not seen Zack since he hit me. It’s like I’m an unwelcome guest in the garage apartment now. I’ve started viewing other places in the hope I can move out soon and leave Mel in peace. It saddens me that it's come to this. I’ve lost both my friend and the woman I want to be with.

I get a shock on Saturday when I leave the apartment and head down the stairs. The kitchen door opens as I reach the bottom of the steps as if someone was waiting for me. I look over, expecting Mel, and get an even bigger shock when Zack steps out. He gives me a nod. There’s no smile on his face, but I don’t think he’s going to hit me.

“Hey, man. Everything okay?” I ask with a frown, wondering what he wants.

“Yeah, just popped over for some stuff. How are you?”

“Doing okay.” I keep my answer short and sweet, not having a clue what’s happening here.

“There’s a group of us staying over at my mate Rich’s place tonight to game. I wanted to check if you wanted to come.”

“Ummm.” I’m speechless. I have no idea how to play this. “I can’t tonight, I’m working at the bar.” Saturdays have become one of my regular shifts.

“Ah, no worries. Just thought I’d ask.” He turns as if to go back in.

“Zack,” I call out softly. He stops, looking over his shoulder. “Are we okay, then?”

He heaves a big sigh, frowning. “It was a dick move, sleeping with my mum. But other than that, you’re a decent guy. Don’t make me regret giving you a second chance.”

“Yeah, no, thanks, I appreciate it. What made you change your mind?”

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