Page 51 of The Best Number

“I don’twantto do it. I just think it’s the right thing to do. To get closure. So I can put it all behind me and move on with Tom and Jack. Wish him well and finish it all amicably.”

“Cass.” She reaches out to place a hand on my bicep. “Do you really think seeing that man is going to give you closure?” I get a sick kind of appreciation from her refusing to speak his name. She knows the history. We’ve spent many an evening sharing the woes of our failed marriages over a bottle of wine. “From everything you’ve told me about him, honey, he isn’t going to go out of his way to help you feel good about it all. He’s only in it for himself.”

She has a solid point.What am I really hoping to achieve?

“You’re right. He won’t give me his blessing to go forward and be happy. And I don’t bloody need it either. I’m just tripping myself up and getting in my own way. I just…” I pause, staring out the window at the busy street while I try to gather my thoughts. “... I guess I just need some kind of sign or momentous occasion to show me that it’s time to properly put it behind me and go all in with Tom and Jack.”

She gives a grimace. “Your soon to be ex-husband does not deserve that power over you. You get to decide. Let the sign you’re looking for be those two sexy guys that want to worship you.”

“You’re so wise,” I whisper.

She answers with a chuckle. “Only when it’s someone else's life. Bit trickier with my own.” She rolls her eyes. “Seriously, please give yourself permission to be happy. You did so much work with therapy and getting away from him. Just let him go and be his fucked-up self somewhere else. Send him well wishes telepathically if you need to, but don’t invite him back into your life. If I could get away with not seeing my ex ever again, I would snap at the chance.”

“I forgot you still have to see yours on the regular. I’m sorry.”

She shrugs. “It’s fine. Now Zack is eighteen, I don’t have much to do with his dad anymore.” I take a moment’s gratitude that my split from Grant has been fairly straightforward. No pets or kids to entangle us further, thank goodness.

“How is Zack?” I ask, and we sip our drinks as we catch up on each other’s lives.

Chapter twenty-three

Jack

Weeks have passed by in this throuple situation and I’m pleasantly surprised that I’m not feeling bored or antsy. I’m starting to question why I spent so long being committed to being mostly single with causal stuff. I’m having more sex since Tom, Cass and I became a thing and I’m not mad about it. The occasions we all spend together blow my mind and I’m finding the times I spend separately with Cass and Tom special in their own ways.

At the start, when I knew Tom and Cass were together without me, I felt something that I figure must have been akin to jealousy, but it’s fading over time. I’ve never felt left out. They always invite me along when they make plans and it’s up to me if I join in or not.

Take today, for instance. Tom invited us over to his place for a couple of hours before he needs to leave for work. Cassidy took him up on his offer and I decided to go to the gym instead. I’mnow heading back to the apartment after a challenging workout. I feel good though.

I sat in the sauna for a while post workout, thinking about Tom and Cass and wondering what I was missing. But instead of feeling jealous or left out, I’m happy for them having time together. I know that they’ll be more than happy to spill the beans of what they got up to without me later. It wouldn’t be the first time that Cass recalling what she did with Tom urged me to bend her over the nearest firm surface and rail her until we were both sated and exhausted.

I’m feeling strangely introspective lately and sometimes get lost in thought, daydreaming about stuff we’ve done, coming up with dirty, filthy plans for what I want to do next with them and even pondering happiness and how fulfilled my life feels these days. I give my head a shake.What the fuck is wrong with me?! Apparently, regular threesomes turn me into a dreamy romantic. Who the fuck would have thought it?

I’m close to the apartment when my phone starts ringing. I lift it from my pocket to see that it’s my mum calling.

“Hey, Mum.”

“Jack. It’s been a while. How are you, baby?”

“I’m good, just heading home from the gym. How about you? How’s Dad?”

“We’re in town. We were at a loose end, so I dragged your father out the house for a change of scenery. We thought we’d go to your friend Tom’s bar for some dinner and drinks. Would you like to come?”

Mum and Dad met Tom one weekend morning when they surprised me with a visit. I tried explaining we were casual, but my mum doesn’t let that get in the way of her plans for my eternal happiness.

I grip the back of my neck with the hand not holding the phone and think for a second. “Sure, that sounds good. What time?”

“How about 5 pm-ish. Get an early dinner before it gets busy.”

“Yep, I can swing that. I might bring someone. Is that okay?”

“Is Tom not working tonight? Can he come?” Mum asks, sounding confused.

“Er, no, he’ll be working. It’s someone else.” I rack my brains trying to work out how to explain it and realise it’ll be better done in person.

“Are you and Tom okay? Should we go somewhere else for dinner?” Mum’s sounding worried now. Perhaps I shouldn’t have even mentioned bringing someone along, but I thought Cass might want to come and grab a bite.

“Tom and I are good, Mum. It’s a different friend, a girl. Let me see if she’s available, and then I’ll get Tom to save us a table.”

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