Page 87 of Shattered

“I saw the livestream…”

“I thought they were lying about that…” I didn’t think he’d actually watch.

“Except for when they burned off your tattoo, I saw everything. I called…” Tears flood his eyes, and I hold him tighter.

“I figured they were screwing with me with the phone calls… Once you knew that too, I figured you would’ve turned it off if you were watching.”

“I couldn’t. As long as I could see you, I knew…” his voice breaks, his eyes filled with visceral fear. “My phone died right when they took you out of the dungeon…”

That’s when Asher falls apart. He pulls me in closer, holding me tight to his chest, and I let out an exhale, molding against him. Here, in his arms, I’m safe.

“Lila, if you want to talk-”

“I don’t.”

A deafening silence fills the room.

“It might help.”

Something in his words strikes a nerve, and I turn my head to stare him down. “Don’t preach to me about dealing with my problems, Ash.”

I can’t tell what he’s thinking. Asher seems just as lost as I do. I feel like he’s looking through me. Everything’s so fucked up. I still haven’t told him how I feel; I can’t. I know that what happened to me wasn’t my fault and that I’m not tarnished. I’m fucking shattered.

And after everything that happened, I’m not sure I can be glued back together again. Who could?

Chapter 35

Asher

I’ve heard PTSD is a bitch. But did I expect to be woken up six times with my terrified girl screaming in my ear?

Never.

Every time she screamed, Neela was right there in the doorway. Even without our help, she seemed to fall right back to sleep. But I sure as fuck didn’t.

I give up around five AM, my sanity gone. After making sure Lila is comfortable and asleep, I get into my chair and head for the kitchen, seriously feeling the pain in my leg from the incisions. To my surprise, Neela’s gone, replaced by the squirrely blonde who was in Lila’s window that first night. This must be Macy. She startles me initially, since I’m still jumpy from everything that went down. She’s acute little thing, younger than Lila. She glares at me with two big owl eyes as I roll into the kitchen, heading for the coffee maker.

“Good morning to you, too,” I say dryly.

I feel her observing me from the cluttered table as I move. She’s nervous. Still, she stands up and approaches me hesitantly, reaching for the coffee maker on the counter above me.

“Let me get that for you,” she says, reaching the top cupboard to pull down a mug. Once it’s down, she pours me a mug while I take a few breaths, trying to calm myself down, but it’s useless.

“Cream and sugar?” she asks, and all I can bring myself to do is nod.

“I’m Macy. I’m sorry about your friend. Neela told me he died.”

Bane… I can’t. “What happened to you? Turner said you were taken, too.”

She recoils, shaking her head. “I don’t know you. And I may have helped Lila track you down, but I did that for her sake, not yours. I don’t trust you.”

“I didn’t hurt Lila.”

“That doesn’t make what you did right.”

“No, you’re right. But regardless of how anyone else feels about it, she needs me right now. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her eyes narrow on me further. “Don’t you fucking hurt her. After everything that’s happened, I don’t know if she’ll survive another blow.”

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