Page 81 of Shattered

“Lila?”

My name makes me break as I take in Macy, my sweet, small friend who has been through hell just like mine. When the dam of tears breaks, I open my arms, and it’s all she needs. She shuts the door behind her before rushing for me. When I find the strength to sit up, she wraps her arms around me, sitting on the bed.

“What happened to you?” she cries. Though she tries to let go and take a look at me, I don’t let her. I need her arms.

“Mace, I am so sorry for what I said. I’ve been horrible.”

Finally, I let her free, and when she pulls back, she’s crying. “I don’t care about that right now. I’m worried about you. What the hell happened? Turner wouldn’t tell anyone anything.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think I’m ready to say it out loud. Even thinking about it makes it hard to breathe.”

Macy nods. If anyone would understand, it’s her.

“Why won’t you let Turner in?”

“Because he went too far. Asher was here with me, and while I was asleep, Turner made him leave.”

I can see the conflict in Macy’s eyes, but she’s gentle without him in the room and with me being so broken down.

“Help me understand,” she pleads.

I know what she means.Asher.

I don’t even know how to make sense of it myself. Who could? What started as hatred morphed into competition to survive him, and from there, I don’t know how it happened.

“He’s not perfect, no one is. And yes, from the outside looking in, he’s probably a nightmare. I get that,” I start, my heart swelling as I speak. “But he’s just like any one of us. He’s just as broken and lonely as I am.”

“Do you think you can fix him?”

“He doesn’t need to be fixed.” And I think I’ve known that all along. He needs to address his leg so he doesn’t kill himself but beyond that… “What’s to fix? He makes me feel alive. And after all we’ve been through, I see him more clearly than ever. When he found me like this, he was shattered.”

He never would’ve leaked my sex tape. And if I had just called myself his dirty little whore, I have no doubt, he wouldn’t have laid another finger on me, I know that now.

“Are you sure you can trust him?” Macy asks gently.

“I do trust him.”

Macy nods with relief. And when she speaks again, I’m at a loss for words.

“Where can I find him?”

My lips part in shock. “You’d do that for me?”

She nods. “You were right before, and I’m sorry for being so cruel to you about Asher. No one has any right to make decisions about your life. If you trust him, and you need him, then yes, I’ll find him. Or, maybe someone else can, so I can stay here, and you won’t be alone.”

“Neela. She can bringhim back.”

“Do you have any idea where he might be?”

“God, I don’t know. His best friend was killed…”

Macy nods, deep in thought. “If he cares about you, he wouldn’t leave you now. So how did Turner scare him off?”

“Turner told him I’d be better off without him.”

“Then, if he loves you, he’ll look for a way to be better for you.”

That’s when it clicks. I think I know where he must be.

---