I grab my own and pull the pencil from the wire binding, flipping to a clean page. There, I draw one of the purple flowers on Neela’s forearm. I start with one straight from her, and freehand the rest, filling the page with flowers that get more dead and wilted as they move further from Neela’s flower in the center. Despite how cryptic the design is, it actually makes me feel a little better. I finish the outlines first, and before I can start shading, the stark lines on the page give me an idea.
“I’ve been wanting to do something for Bane. Asher didn’t want a funeral, but Bane doesn’t deserve to be forgotten,” I say.
“I agree. I’ve been thinking about that too,” Neela says.
“I think I might have an idea, but I’ll need your help.”
She nods eagerly. “Done.”
Asher wanted to come with me today, but I insisted on going by myself. I head inside alone, finding it hard to be by myself. The waiting room is empty, but another woman is sitting behind my desk.
“Good afternoon,” the woman greets me with a friendly smile.
“Hi, I’m here to see Dr. Parr.”
“Do you have an appointment?” she asks with confusion.
“No. I’m Lila.”
The woman’s eyes light up with surprise. “Dr. Parr asked to see you immediately if you ever stopped by. She doesn’t have a patient, so you can go on back now.”
“Thank you.” It feels weird to feel like a stranger in here.
I knock softly on the door, and after a moment, it swings open. Dr. Parr’s jaw drops.
“Lila!”
“Hey,” I say awkwardly.
She waves me inside, shuts the door behind me, and motions for me to sit in her patient chair before sitting herself.
“Are you okay? Your friend Neela said you were badly hurt but couldn’t tell me what happened.”
Neela told me she went to speak with Dr. Parr when she found out I was in the hospital. She tried to protect my job for me.
“I’m on the mend,” I say simply. “I really don’t want to get into it, though.”
“Okay, of course. The nurse out there, Pamela, she’s temporary. I hired her when Neela said you’d likely be out for quite a while.”
“She can be permanent.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not coming back. And honestly, I should’ve quit a long time ago. I’m so sorry. I’ve been slacking, and it hasn’t been fair to you.”
She frowns. “You weren’t happy working here, were you?”
“At first, I was. It’s kind of a boring job, but I get to see mothers and babies all day. I think after my divorce, it just made it harder to come here, knowing that I’m nowhere near ready to have this.”
She nods in understanding. “I wish you would’ve talked to me. I tried, you know.”
“I know you did. You’re not the only one. Thank you for trying.”
“Of course. I really wish you the best, hun; I hope you know that.”
I smile. “I know. Good luck to you too, Doctor.”
Chapter 41