Page 79 of One Hellish Love

Suddenly, she remembered something that made her feel awful. At that party, she’d asked her friend Sheetal to go up to Rudra, to flirt with him and get touchy. She’d wanted to embarrass him in front of everyone. Now she knew why he’d pushed Sheetal away so quickly.

Kashish covered her mouth with her hand, feeling terrible. If she’d known about his fear, she would never have done that to him. It must have been so hard for Rudra. She wondered who else in the family knew about what happened to him. Maybe they kept it secret to protect him.

She’d lived with him for weeks now, and she knew how private he was. He never let anyone see what he was really feeling. That awful thing that happened to him, and the punishment he got after had changed him forever. He pretended to be strong for his family, but inside, he was still hurting.

Kashish wiped away the tears from her face, surprised. She was crying for him - forhispain, for everything he’d been through. This man who had hurt her so much was fighting his battles alone.

Why did she care so much? Why did his pain make her heart hurt? She’d hated him for so long, but now... now she wasn’t sure what she felt anymore.

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The next morning, Kashish entered the puja room where Daadi was deep in prayer. Every day, she resented this family tradition of coming together to worship and seek blessings. She had lost her faith in God after her father’s tragic death, and now, knowing the pain Rudra carried, she blamed this same God for his suffering too. Had Rudra also lost his belief in a higher power, like her? Was he offering prayers merely to keep his family content?

Stop it, Kashish. You’ve been thinking about him since yesterday. Give your mind a break,she mentally chided herself, trying to refocus. She hadn’t even noticed when Shekhar and Anjali had come in and joined the prayer. They smiled at her, and she returned it weakly. Shekhar seemed to sense something off in her mood but chose not to comment. Daadi finished her prayers and passed the holy fire to everyone. Kashish picked up the plate of prasad to distribute. Just as she finished, Rudra came down the stairs, ready to leave for work. He was on the phone with Jay, looking composed and distant. Kashish suddenly felt powerless.

Daadi saw him too and called him over after he ended the call. Rudra, glancing at everyone, stepped into the puja room to take the blessing of the holy fire. He was about to leave when Kashish blocked his way, holding the plate of ladoos. He looked perplexed as she offered him the prasad. Shekhar left to finishbreakfast, and Anjali followed him, leaving Kashish and Rudra alone in the room.

Rudra looked at the plate, then at her.

“Where did the sun rise from today?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Kashish rolled her eyes.

“You wake up early. Didn’t you see where the sun rose from?”

“Smart mouth,” he muttered before picking a Ladoo and popping it into his mouth.

Daadi, who had been putting away the puja thali, turned around in shock.

“You shouldn’t be eating that Ladoo! It’s not sugar-free,” she scolded, snatching the plate from Kashish’s hands. “Why did you offer it to him?”

Kashish was speechless. For once, she had tried to show a little kindness, offering the prasad without thinking, and now she was being blamed for it. How was she supposed to know if the ladoos were sugar-free?

“Daadi, a little sugar won’t kill me,” Rudra said nonchalantly.

Daadi’s face hardened.

“Never say such things. You are precious to me, Rudra,” she snapped.

Kashish observed him, her heart twisting at the pain beneath his bravado.

“Just because you care doesn’t make me immortal, Daadi,” he replied, his tone sharp.

“Rudra, stop it,” Daadi warned.

He shrugged, a hollow smile on his lips, and Kashish felt the weight of his hidden despair. He masked his fears well, but the cracks were showing. He took Daadi out for breakfast, and Kashish quietly followed, setting the plate of ladoos aside. After a quick meal, Shekhar hurried off to meet a client, while Anjali went to see him off like the typical loving couple they were.Kashish couldn’t help but smile at their bond, but the silence that followed felt heavy.

It was Daadi who broke it.

“Rudra, I’ve given you enough time to think about marriage. Have you made a decision yet?”

Rudra froze, as did Kashish. He shot her a warning look, silently telling her not to push the subject further, then turned to Daadi.

“I haven’t decided yet,” he said flatly.

Kashish wanted to step in, to defend him now that she understood his fears, but she remained silent.

“Not decided? Rudra, marriage won’t ruin your life. It’s a blessing. I want to see you married, to see your wife, your children,” Daadi pleaded.