Page 94 of One Hellish Love

There was no relief on his face, no joy in having finally revealed his deepest secret. He wasn’t happy about confessing his love, nor was he regretful. He was furious—furious that he had let his emotions slip in the heat of the moment. She could feel the tension radiating from his body, his pulse still racing beneath her fingertips, as though the fear of losing her was still coursing through his veins.

It was madness. The moment his grip loosened, Kashish stepped back, shaking her head in disbelief.

“You... you shouldn’t love me...” she murmured, her voice weak, almost a whisper.

Her words jolted Rudra back to reality. Did he really just confess that? He clenched his jaw, swallowing hard as their eyes broke apart. That instant had been too raw, too overpowering for him to hold back. He had said what he felt, letting slip the one thing he had guarded so fiercely—his love for her. His hand rubbed his forehead in frustration, as if trying to erase the moment that had just unfolded.

Kashish, still dazed, stared at him, refusing to accept the truth behind his confession. A cab pulled up beside them, and she realized it was the one she had called earlier. Without another word, she gave Rudra one last horrified glance, climbed into the cab, and disappeared into the night.

Rudra ran his hands through his hair, exhaling sharply. This wasn’t going to end well. She now knew the one truth he had tried to keep buried—his love for her. He knew she wouldn’t use it against him, but the fragile connection they had begun to form could be shattered forever after tonight. What if she decided to leave? She had already threatened to walk out if he didn’t agree to see the psychiatrist. He wasn’t ready to lose her, not like this. He couldn’t bear the thought of her slipping away from him... not now.

*****************

Kashish returned to Raheja Mansion, her mind swirling with the weight of Rudra’s confession. Thankfully, Shekhar and Anjali were out celebrating Valentine’s night, and Daadi was in Haridwar, absorbed in prayers for the family’s well-being. She was alone, and solitude was what she desperately needed. Tossing her purse aside, she flung herself onto the bed, burying her face under the cushion. But Rudra’s voice kept echoing in her ears:

“It does matter to me, dammit because I love you, dammit! I can’t lose you... not now... not ever.”

She pressed the cushion harder over her ears, trying to drown out the torment of his words. How could this be happening? He, the man responsible for shattering her world, for killing her father and turning her an orphan, had confessed he loved her? She knew now that the accident wasn’t intentional, but how could the man who had taken everything from her fall in love with her? It defied logic, reason, and her ability to accept it. It was madness.

Frantic and helpless, she threw the pillow aside and sobbed. Nothing made sense anymore. Just when she thought she had reached the peak of her pain, another wave had crashed over her. Rudra’s unexpected confession had broken her in ways she didn’t know were possible. She felt utterly lost. No matter how hard she tried to push the thoughts away, his face, his voice, and his words haunted her. The more she tried to forget, the more they consumed her.

*****************

Rudra, back in his bedroom, stood under the cold shower, hoping the icy water would wash away the turmoil raging in his mind. He had heard from Ram Prasad that Kashish was back, locked away in her room. But the knowledge that she was just behind those walls offered no comfort. His thoughts spun uncontrollably—fearful of her distancing herself from him again. The memory of pulling her out of the path of that speeding car, her body crashing into his chest, had stirred something in him. For the first time, the fear of losing her had overshadowed his own phobia of being touched.

He stared at his reflection in the shower’s glass door. He knew he had to face her. He had meant every word he said, but he had no intention of forcing his feelings on her. She could reject him—he expected it. He understood now that his love for her was like chasing a dream. Kashish was the dream—one he could only hold onto in the dark, never in the light of reality.

*****************

The next morning, Rudra descended the stairs to find Anjali performing the aarti, with Shekhar beside her. Usually, Kashish was there, faithfully attending the morning prayer. But not today. A sense of unease gripped him, and he stopped Ram Prasad as he passed.

“Ram Prasad, where’s Kashish?” he asked.

“She is in her room,” Ram Prasad replied.

Rudra’s concern deepened. If she was home, why hadn’t she come down for the morning rituals? Anjali approached him with the prasad, noticing the confusion on his face.

“Kashish isn’t going to the office today,” Anjali said, offering an update. “She wanted to stay home.”

“Is she alright?” Rudra’s concern slipped through, despite his attempt to remain composed.

Anjali raised a brow.

“Why? Is there something that should be bothering her?”

Rudra quickly shook his head, evading the question. His phone buzzed, offering him an excuse to walk away. But Anjali wasn’t fooled. She suspected Rudra had something to do with Kashish’s sudden withdrawal. What had happened at the party last night? She had to check on her.

****************

Anjali knocked gently on Kashish’s door and entered the room. Kashish lay on the bed, clutching a pillow tightly, her face pale and withdrawn. She didn’t even acknowledge Anjali until she sat beside her.

“Kashish, what’s wrong? Why did you refuse breakfast? Are you not feeling well?” Anjali asked, placing a hand on her forehead.

Kashish sat up, hugging the pillow tighter. “I’m fine, Anju. Just needed a break, so I decided to take the day off.”

“A break? From what? Come on, you can’t just stay locked up here. Let’s go shopping, get some fresh air.”

“Not today, Anju. I just... I want to be alone.”

---