Page 105 of One Hellish Love

“I’ll wait outside until you’re finished,” she said, rising from her seat, wanting to give him the privacy he needed to open up.

Dr. Akash nodded. “That’s a good idea. Patients often feel more comfortable sharing sensitive details without others present. I’ll call you back once we’re done.”

But before she could step away, Rudra’s hand shot out, gripping her wrist with a firm, almost possessive hold. His gaze locked on hers with an intensity that sent shivers down her spine.

“Stay,” he commanded, leaving no room for argument.

Kashish glanced at Dr. Akash, who tried to reason with him.

“Rudra, it’s fine if you prefer to speak alone. You’ll probably feel better if you don’t have an audience.”

“There’s nothing I want to hide fromher,” Rudra declared.

Kashish felt a surge of embarrassment. Why did he always do this—make her feel like she was indispensable to him in front of others? She sat back down, awkwardly settling into her chair, and placed her purse aside. Dr. Akash smiled gently at her before turning back to Rudra.

“All right, Rudra,” Dr. Akash began, his tone professional. “Let’s start from the beginning. Take your time, and speak at your own pace. We won’t interrupt, and if at any point you feel uncomfortable, we can stop. There’s no pressure.”

Rudra let go of Kashish’s hand, placing it on the table, and his expression darkened as he braced himself to dig into the painful memories. His face turned red as tension built in his body.

“I was 17, in juvenile detention home,” he began, swallowing hard. Kashish could sense the immense effort it took for him to say those words.

Her stomach tightened in response.

“It was a weekend. Most of the boys were playing basketball—they set up games for us sometimes, for recreation. I didn’t join them. I never did. I was by myself, gardening.” His voice was strained as if every word was pulled from some dark, buried place within him. Kashish’s heart pounded as he spoke. She didn’t want to hear this. Not like this. Not when it hurt him so much to relive it.

“A woman approached me—she was older, maybe double my age. I didn’t know her personally, but she was part of the group that came on weekends to organize activities for us.”

Kashish clenched her fists, her skin growing clammy. She felt a wave of nausea wash over her as Rudra’s voice wavered.

“She started talking to me, praising me. I sensed something off about her—there was something in the way she looked at me, something that made me uneasy. I tried to walk away, but…” His voice trailed off, his body stiffening, his knuckles white against the table as he struggled to continue.

Kashish couldn’t bear it. Seeing him like this, so vulnerable and raw, stirred a deep, agonizing emotion inside her. She had known of his pain, but hearing the details—seeing the toll it took on him—was something entirely different.

Rudra’s face turned red with the strain of holding back the flood of emotions, his skin breaking out in goosebumps as he wiped his arm, trying to erase the memories. He was fighting against himself, against the trauma that had plagued him for years.

“She stopped me and...” Rudra closed his eyes, the memory clearly painful. Kashish wanted to touch his arm, to comfort him, but Akash shook his head no. Her eyes filled with tears - she’d felt this same sadness for Rudra before, that night he’d hurt himself with the knife.

“She started touching me,” Rudra said, his voice shaking. It was hard for him to even say the words. “She tried to assault me...” Suddenly his eyes flew open, like he couldn’t breathe. This time Kashish did touch his shoulder, trying to help. Akash leaned back in his chair, sighing. Kashish made Rudra drink some water, even though he didn’t want to. After one sip, he looked away, like he felt dirty and unwanted.

“This kind of traumas often leads to such phobias,” Akash said gently. “How did you get away?”

Kashish jumped in, worried. “Maybe we should give him a break, Doctor? He’s shaking.”

Rudra looked at Kashish, surprised by her concern. It felt nice.

“We can stop if Rudra wants,” Akash said. “But the more we talk now, the easier next time will be.”

Before Kashish could argue, Rudra started talking again.

“I hit her face. Used all my strength to run away,” he said quietly.

“You did the right thing. What happened next?” Akash asked.

“I ran into the head of the detention centre. He figured out what happened.”

“Did they punish that woman?”

Rudra’s jaw tightened. “I was too scared to say anything for days. When I finally wanted to, I found out she’d been caught doing the same thing to someone else. She tried to run and got shot. She died.”

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