Page 64 of Jump Start

“I know you’ve crashed before, doesn’t make it any easier to see on the screen in front of me,” I said, my voice a little irritated. I was tired and a little drained after the last couple of hours.

Thomas stopped in front of me, and I ran into him.

“Shit!” He steadied me.

“Harps, this is all part of it. You will have to get used to it,” he retorted. His defiant attitude was starting to piss me off. I don’t know if he was trying to be nonchalant so I wouldn’t freak out more, or maybe he was trying to placate his own feelings.

“I get it, Thomas. I’m still in a bit of shock. Why are you being so calm? Your car crashed into a fucking wall at 230 kilometres an hour?” I raised my voice as we reached our hotel room.

He didn’t respond, just opened the door and silently walked through, with me trailing behind him.

The air-conditioning of the room gave me chills, but I ignored the feeling as I sat on the bed and waited. When he said nothing, I knew I had to be the first to speak.

“I don’t understand why you are being so calm,” I murmured, looking up at him as he stood over me, slowly taking off his race suit.

“Because this is part of the package. Granted, no one wants to crash, but that weather today had everyone struggling no matter what their package was. It was fucked.”

“You can say that again.”

He sat down next to me, fully naked, but it didn’t feel like the right moment to notice that in any sort of detail.

“I know you will worry, and I don’t blame you. But I am okay, see?” he said, pointing up and down his body. “Not a scratch.”

He placed his hand on my back. I found it difficult to moveas I was exhausted. The sound of his phone ringing snapped me out of my thoughtless haze.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just need to get changed and I’ll be right back,” he replied into the phone. Standing up, he grabbed the closest pair of tracksuit pants and put them on without underwear, and a hoodie without a shirt.

“You’re not going to put anything on underneath?” I asked quizzically as I watched him slip a pair of slides over some socks.

“Nah, it’s just a drivers debrief with Landon in Chris’s room. Please go have a shower and get comfy. I won’t be too long, okay?” His brown eyes begged, even though his tone was neutral.

I offered the best fake smile I could muster and stood up to head towards the bathroom. He stopped me halfway.

“Thank you for worrying. I’m fine. I love you and I’ll be back soon.” He placed a quick peck on my lips, then patted me on the butt before he grabbed his phone and walked out the door.

I turned the shower on and closed my eyes. The sound of the water running made me feel calm, mixed with the light rain outside.

I knew there would be moments like this. I would see a crash and I knew I would have to learn how to deal with it better, to not let the worry consume me.

Could you ever be prepared for this feeling, though? I guess it was a good thing that Thomas was so calm about the whole incident, as it would eventually serve us much better. No point in us both panicking.

As I washed my hair, I realised how heavy my limbs felt, tired from a long day of sitting in uncomfortable chairs and standing on hard concrete floors, mixed with emotion, adrenaline, andpure shock. I would be passing out the moment my head hit the pillow.

And I did.

***

Thomas

Walking away from Harper felt wrong, unnatural, and my feet felt like they were getting dragged into quicksand. The further I was from our room, the worse I felt. I wanted to go back and make her come with me. I wanted her with me, everywhere I went, but I knew she was exhausted, and she needed to sleep. Me on the other hand, I was wired, electrified even. I didn’t feel shocked, I felt more alive than I ever had.

I wasn’t sure if it was because I had been in an accident or if it suddenly woke me up, like a reality check. I drove fast and sometimes, in dangerous weather, there could be consequences.

The debrief with Chris and Landon was intricate, and long, and by the end of it, I had finally hit a wall. No pun intended.

“Righto, mate, long as you’re okay, head back and take tomorrow off. The season is over now. We’ve got the end-of-year celebrations tomorrow night, but it’s up to you if you both want to join.” I knew Harper would want to. She had a dress picked out and had been looking forward to it for months, since before accepting her role at Echidna.

***

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