Page 88 of Old Acquaintances

He stepped back and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Of course. We’re friends. You don’t fuck around with your friends.”

“We’re not really that close of friends.”

He opened his eyes and gave me a look. We only claimed friendship when it suited us: when I needed a ride or when people questioned his love notes or when he jokingly saidI love you.We were ‘not friends’ when he wanted a say in my love life, when he kissed me, when we argued.

Tucker said, “It’ll make things weird between us.”

I argued, “No weirder than you already having seen me half-naked or making out on a family vacation. We got overprom.”

He looked down at the ground, sucking in air, his chest rising and falling.

I realized that he might not have gotten over prom. We had been in a sudden, blissful bubble and then I ripped myself out of it. We didn’t talk about it anymore. Everything went back to normal for me, except for the fluttery feeling I got when he touched me or when I caught him staring.

“Ella, don’t ask me to do this.” He squinted. “Why did you askme?”

My eyes flashed to the picture on his dresser. I shrugged, hoping I hadn’t misunderstood every interaction of our entire lives. “I knew that you, you know…”

He didn’t know.

I begged with my eyes for him to know.

He dragged his eyes down the length of my body and bit the side of his lip.

“That,” I muttered.

He exhaled. “That I get hard just looking at you?”

“Don’t say it like that,” I groaned.

“You’re asking for sex, you’re going to have to get a little comfortable with the idea. You’re literally asking me to get hard for you.”

I covered my face. “Tucker.”

“We can’t do it if you won’t even look at me!”

“Please.” I dropped my hands. “I drove all this way, and I’m very sure I want to do this.”

He winced. “Why didn’t you ask Johnny?”

“Because the thought of that…makes me physically ill.” I might have actually gagged a little.

“The asking or the doing?”

“Doing.” I shook out the image. “I do not want anything remotely resembling…”

Tucker stepped toward me. His voice was heavy when he said, “But youdowant it from me.”

My breath was shaking. Every part of me was shaking. I felthis hot air on my face, felt the heat of his body, the want dripping off of him.

I stammered, “I-I feel safe with you. Around you. I know you would do this for me, and we could go back to normal after. I trust you.” I finally met his eyes. “I think I trust you more than anyone.”

He stared at me, raising his eyebrows. “You’re sure you want this?”

“Yes.” I was very steady in my answer.

“Absolutely sure?”

“Yes.”

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