Page 75 of Old Acquaintances

“Ilovedthat shirt. I liked how you looked at me in it.”

He scoffed. “Like a horny seventeen-year-old?”

“Do you remember when I got gum in my hair?Thatwas gross.”

“Because I slathered your whole head in a jar of peanut butter.”

I laugh, thinking of it and my mother’s face when she saw me. “You put it on my scalp like a hair mask.” I snort. “It wasn’t anywhere near the wad of gum.” I fall forward, laughing, and he pushes me back up. “You kept saying, ‘I know what I’m doing,’ but my head was so greasy, and I ended up having to cut my hair.”

His hand, the one beside my arm, begins absently plucking the fabric of his sweatshirt. “I got it confused with lice protocol.”

“Oh. I had that too.”

“I know. And you gave it to me.”

Even through the fleece, I feel his fingertips scrape against my skin. I close my eyes and whisper, “Do you remember the cruise?”

“Painfully.”

“Do you remember prom?”

Tucker is quiet.

“You looked so handsome.” I breathe in the quiet. “And you were so nervous.” My heart ached. “I was so scared of other boys. But I wasn’t ever scared of you.”

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear.

My eyelids press into one another, pained by the vibration of him so close to me, the gentleness of his movements. “I liked it when you touched me. I wanted it.”

His hand moves to my cheek, stroking the skin. I turn my head, so it falls into his palm. I open my eyes. He drags his thumb across my bottom lip.

I whimper, “Do you rememberthat night?”

I don’t have to explain. He knows what night.

Tucker’s throat bounces. “Of course, I do,” he mutters, his voice thick. He puts my hands on his shoulders, and slides forward, scooping me into his arms.

My legs hook around his waist, my face snuggles into his neck.

Gently this time, he puts me back on the bed.

I grapple for his hand. “Don’t sleep on the couch, Eli.Please. Sleep here. I just want to pretend it’s like it was.” I beg, “Tell me you love me.”

After a moment, he brushes the hair on my forehead and kisses me softly. “Go to sleep.”

Chapter Twenty

College

I was the last daughter to go off to college. I’m not going to say my parents were happy to see me go, but they weren’t crying themselves to sleep like they did when Hattie left. My mom had plans for my bedroom - Gracie’s room had been turned into a craft room and Hattie’s became my dad’s closet slash man-cave.

I had a dorm room on campus at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts that I shared with another girl from the ballet program. I was excited, nervous, scared, ready. Everything I could feel I felt, including the preemptive homesickness for my friends. Johnny and I already mapped out the route from me to him, Winston-Salem to Clemson. The drive would be easy. Johnny met his roommate earlier in the summer, and he figured Wyatt would be comfortable with me spending the night sometimes when I came down to visit.

Half of me wanted the college experience that would support my career goals. The other half wanted to go to football games and frat parties and get hammered and stay up all night with friends. Johnny said I could have the best of both worlds: when I felt like partying, I could visit the boys. Boys, because Tucker would also be going to Clemson. I felt jealous that they’d have something between the two of them that didn’t include me. I felt jealous of the girls who would inevitably throw themselves at Tucker. I felt left out.

I packed my things into my mom’s van. She and my dad drove the four and a half hours to drop me off, but they only stayed long enough to help me unload my things, they had to hurry back for some work event. My mom kissed my cheek, and my dad handed me a wad of cash. I would see them in a few weeks anyway, for Gavin’s wedding.

I cried when they left.

---