Page 68 of Old Acquaintances

I considered what I needed. “Well, I just…I don’t think I want everyone…people are going to look and talk-”

“Half the school thinks we’re already dating. I saw Zoey in the hallway last week and she asked about you, referring to you as mygirlfriend, and she’s your blood relative.” He slid his hands from me. “Is this about Johnny?”

He couldn’t think…

“You don’t want Johnny to know?” he asked, a little bit angry.

I said quietly, “Know what exactly? That we’re in a stairwell right now or that we’re kind of on a date?”

“Kind of?”

“Help me out here,” I begged. “I’m just figuring this out as I go.”

He straightened up. “Or is this about Kyle? Or Ryan Rice?”

I started, “Ryan Rice?” Then, I realized, “You’rejealous.”

He widened his eyes. “I’ve had to sit in a fucking dugout or locker room for years listening to guys talk about how hot you are - I’m not the only one with eyes, Ella.” His expression shifted. “And you wanted to be here with Kyle anyway. Anyone could have offered to take you to prom-”

I grabbed his face and pulled it to mine. Our lips met.

I didn’t plan on kissing him. I was on my way to tell him that I didn’t want him kissing me in front of the others, that I wasn’t ready for that, but I needed Tucker to know that he’s the only boy I’ve ever wanted touching me. Whether I knew it or not.

I pulled back just as his hands returned to me and his lips began to move.

I whispered, “Just shut up.”

“Dammit, Ella,” he whimpered, his eyes still closed.

I giggled. “You only say that when I knee you in the nads.”

He opened his eyes. “The sentiment is the same.”

My hands went to his shoulders. I leaned back as he came toward me again, “I want to take it slow, okay? There’s a lot that can…combust.”

He nodded, running his hands over my face. “Yeah, I got you.”

If he and I started dating and it went poorly, that would affect our relationship with Johnny, our Christmas Eve dinners, our family vacations, and maybe even our mothers’ relationship. Gracie and Steven were pretty serious, so there was a chance they’d end up married and our family dynamic would be tattered.

I said, “We should go out there.”

He took my hand and opened the door. In the hallway, I wrapped my arm around his as we walked toward the music. I pointed out, “By the way, you’re the one who said we can’t let Johnny see that we’re on a date.”

He stayed silent. I watched the turmoil on his face.

“I’ve never had a single romantic thought about him, ever,” I explained.

Tucker stopped walking in the middle of the hallway. I jolted and whiplashed backward.

He said, “Have you thought about me like that?”

I could lie. I could say,well it’s only because you initiateit.The truth is that I’ve had Tucker’s hands on me and enjoyed it, whereas Johnny’s never touched me, and I never wanted it. Gracie once referred to Tucker as a brother figure and I gagged at the idea. Johnny felt like a brother. Tucker could never.

“Yes,” I answered. I wanted to explain it further. “When I look at Johnny, I see the five-year-old version of him and I think he does for me, too. I could never be romantic with him, that’s disgusting.”

I smiled at our tied-up arms. “But with you…I’ve nevernotknown you. When I look at you, all I see is you. This you. In ten years, it’ll be that version of you. It’s easy to imagine being, I don’t know, romantic, I guess, because it feels like you’re a part of me.”

He inhaled slowly, and his eyes darted from the prom entrance to me. Classmates walked past. He groaned, “Okay, Ihaveto kiss you now.”

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