Page 5 of Old Acquaintances

“You would have loved the attention.”

I ramble, “Tucker knew about the car accident. Lori told him, andallof the boys came to see me. All three of them, and only one is familially obligated.”

I suck in air, reliving seven-year-old trauma and continue, “My tenth grade math teacher sent flowers. I got text messages from girls I danced with when I was nine. Even the preachercame to see me, and I hadn’t set foot in that church in five years! Theonlyperson who did not visit me in the hospital or send flowers or call or text or say a fuckingwordto me is the boy I’ve known for my entire life.”

Hattie hears the shift in my voice. “Ella, calm down.”

Years ago, I would have started crying the minute I thought about it. Now, the pain is reduced to eye swelling and mild panic attacks, my skin going cold and my hands shaky.

Reliving how devastated I was to never hear from him is like a knife to the heart and makes me reevaluate everything I ever thought about Tucker. Even when we argued and got under each other’s skin, I would have reluctantly called him my friend. I would have thought he was a good guy. I might have even considered him my closest friend at different periods of time.

I continue, “And, I haven’t heard from him in seven years.Seven years. He completely ignores me, like I don’t exist, and I don’t matter to him.”

“That’s not entirely true,” she argues. “You’re the one who told Lori to make sure he stays away from you.”

“Because I hate him!”

That’s what I’m feeling right now.

I hate Elijah Tucker.

Hattie sighs. “I know. I just don’t know why you don’t talk to him about it.”

That’s always the response: be the bigger person, reach out to him, don’t act like such a victim. My brother-in-law, Steven, complained Christmas Eve that his step-brother wouldn’t come over because he didn’t want to upset me. Somehow, I’m always the one who is blamed when Tucker does something wrong.

I hold my phone close to my face and growl, “Washethe one in a horrific car accident? Didhehave to undergo months of rehabilitation? Didhealmost lose his career as a professional dancer?”

“Okay!” Hattie waves her metaphorical white flag. “I’m sorry I brought him up. I just can’t believe the rest of your friends have edged him out too.”

“They haven’t.Traitors.” I knock back my coffee. “They just don’t talk about him around me.”

“Those bitches…”

“I hope his thirtieth birthday sucks balls.”

“Jesus, Ella.”

“I could have said worse.”

She clucks her teeth. “You might actually have to worry about the fiancée, then.”

“What do you mean?” I switch the phone to the other ear and lift my head to check on the progress at the check-in counter.

Hattie explains, “She wouldn’t think anything was going on with you and Johnny if Tucker was there.”

I pause. “Excuse me?”

“No one ever worried about you and Johnny hooking up. You and Tucker on the other hand…”

This is worse than the innuendo. “No. That’s just - no.”

“You both claim nothing ever happened, but it’s the vibe you two give off. Even as teenagers, your sexual tension was off the charts. I have that photo from prom to prove it. And there was you two at Gracie’s wedding. The cruise. Christmases. Summer vacations.”

My jaw drops. “Oh my God!” I shudder, feeling my skin prickle with disgust. “I can’t believe you would say that to me. How can you say that? We bathed together as infants!”

“You didn’t stay babies. You grew boobs. He noticed.” She snorts a laughs. “Weallsaw him notice.”

“This is inappropriate.”

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