Page 39 of Old Acquaintances

I’d been kissed before, but not like that. It had only ever been uncomfortable and awkward, nervous and robotic, goingthrough the motions to get it over with. Kissing for the sake of kissing. I realized then that I hadn’t kissed anyone I really liked. I never had a proper boyfriend, I didn’t have time for it, and I’d never put my mouth on someone I reallywanted.

I never even wondered about kissing Tucker. The thought never crossed my mind. But when he pushed me up against the wall and stuck his tongue in my mouth, I felt how badly he wanted it. My nervousness and insecurities had floated away. I wondered if he would do it again.

I wanted him to do it again.

When got back to the table, my mom said, “Are you okay, Ella? You’re white as a sheet.”

I said yes.

Tucker walked in a minute after me.

Gavin pointed out, “That was longer than five minutes, guys…”

Tucker moved his chair away from me. He reset his glass of water. I felt shaky and nervous beside him, and I wondered if anyone would be able to tell what just happened. If so, they never let on. With all of the eyes that had been on us, they didn’t say a word about how silently the two of us sat while they all finished their dessert.

I didn’t speak to him for the rest of the night or when we packed to go home. I didn’t see him for the rest of the summer. Senior year started and everything went right back to the way it had been - teasing, arguing, fighting. Only this time I knew what it felt like to have Tucker’s hands on my body, out of want and not just necessity.

And I liked it.

Chapter Thirteen

Today

This bedroom is beautiful. The coral watercolor art, the vintage dresser, the distressed chalk paint on the shiplap walls. Painted tile covers the en suite bathroom floor and walls, framing two round mirrors above the sinks. There’s a copper clawfoot tub and a walk-in shower.

I assume this to be the main bedroom. At least they gave me that. This bomb in my lap cannot be ignored but at least I’ll have a view of the Atlantic ocean when this vacation implodes.

Rifling through my bag, I pull out and put on bikini bottoms and tie the matching coverup at my waist. I’ve packed all of my favorite beachwear items, unconcerned with the weather or the fact that it’s Winter - I wanted to feel tropical and fun. I clip the top of my hair back.

Tucker has gone to change in the powder room, and I locked the door behind him, lest he get any ideas about sabotage. Hewillbe sleeping on the couch tonight. I will win this bet because I love a challenge and if there’s one thing I could never fail at, it’s seducing Elijah Tucker. When someone’s been attracted to you from the onset of puberty until they are twenty-two, it doesn’t just go away after a few years.

Unless.

Does he have a girlfriend?

No.

If he did, our friends surely wouldn’t have expected him to sleep in the bed with me. Johnny never viewed Tucker’s attention on me as harmless, and Serena would have come to the same conclusion. Wyatt, probably. Ritchie most definitely.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, suddenly feeling fifteen again. I hated his commentary on my body then and now, I hate myself for craving it. I was always beautiful to him in what he called an ‘objective’ way and I still want to be beautiful to him because that was a steady element of our connection. Even if Tucker hated me, even if he pissed me off and enjoyed being mean, he at least found me attractive. It was some small sliver of him that belonged to me. Some ease in our tension.

Ritchie’s voice wafts down the hallway.

They were roommates in college and for four years, Ritchie kept his distance from me, as if I was Tucker’s little sister. Johnny told me junior year that Ritchie had a crush on me. Serena told me. Wyatt did, too. I waited for Tucker to bring it up but all he said was, “Don’t worry, I told him you were a feral psycho. He’s not into crazy chicks. He won’t bother you.”

That November, Ritchie ended up dating Olivia, a beautiful, statuesque woman who was on track to become a model before they got married and she decided to be a stay-at-home wife. Olivia was a little mean. She took advantage of Ritchie’s generosity and appreciated him for his money and good looks. She also openly flirted with Tucker, which royally pissed me off.

For Ritchie’s sake.

Heading outside, I walk past the bed I will not be sharing with Tucker and the piles of his clothes on the ground. Messy, scattered, unorganized. Seeing his sneakers, always ridiculously clean and simple, elicits a strange roll in my stomach.

He’s here.

Finally.

But it’s too late, I tell myself. That two-faced girl that livesinside of me wants to pick up that shirt and smell it, to get lost in the memory of him. But the man who stripped this shirt off is notmyboy. He’s a cold-hearted man-child who probably never cared for me at all, and I’d rather leave the past version of him in sunshine and rainbows where he belongs.

Serena whistles at the end of the hallway. Music blasts from speakers all over the house and her hands rise into the air. “The birthday girl’s ready to party!” She picks up a tray of chips and dip. “Grab that, will ya?”

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