Page 145 of Old Acquaintances

My heart leaps at the thought. I watch the two of them, Serena leaned into Callie’s legs, handing her chips while Callie kisses the side of her head. Last night was the closest I’ve ever been to being tangled up in the truth with Tucker. Both of us were completely on the same page about what we wanted in that moment. I need a lifetime of that to make up for the seven years we could have had.

If that drunk asshole didn’t hit my car, I would have walked into my house and Tucker would have jumped up from the chair in the kitchen. He would have been nervous. I would have feltmy heart exploding. My parents would have been oblivious as I asked to talk to Tucker in the other room.

If I closed the office doors, he might have grabbed me and kissed me and told me he loved me. In my imagination, I hug him. I pull him to me, like I wanted to do so many times, and feel the weight of his security hold my anxieties. I might have asked to stay that way forever.

If he told me to audition for the San Francisco Ballet, I would have. I’d have felt that I could do anything with him by my side. We’d have an apartment there, and he’d use his grandparents’ money to buy an old house to renovate. On our thirtieth birthday trip we would have been placed in the same bedroom, as we did every night, because we were a couple, our friends knew that. They’d be waiting for our next announcement. The next big step in our relationship, when all I’d want is to listen to his voice until I die.

There’s a rumble of thunder outside. I decide, “When he comes back, I’m just going to tell him how I feel and what I want and let him choose.”

“Can we be here for that?” Serena asks.

“No. You all have to scram.”

“Where are we going to go?” Wyatt argues. He points outside. “We’re in a monsoon.”

The wind has picked up and it plasters rain against the windows. There’s no way Tucker has made it back to the marina by now. I nervously begin, “Hey, who can find Tucker on their phone?”

Ritchie answers, “I can.” He leans forward and takes his phone out, frowning until Jen answers, “He didn’t take it. It’s here.”

She holds up his cellphone from the side table. His wallpaper is a generic space photo.

“He didn’t take his phone?” I groan.

Knowing my mind, Serena comes to my side. “He’s fine out there, Ella. He’s in the channel. He’s safe. Plus, he grew up on the water, right? He knows what he’s doing.”

Sure. It’s not that bad out there. He’ll be fine.

Still, even as I try to rationalize it, I can’t stop thinking about Tucker. Standing in that boat, getting pelted with rain. The rough waves rocking, water splashing up on the sides. I don’t know anything about boating, none of that could be remotely possible, but it’s all I can visualize.

He does know what he’s doing, though. The three of us went out on Christian’s boat once in high school and a thunderstorm rolled in. Tucker made me sit by his feet while Johnny made sure everything was locked away and stowed the cushions. We weren’t out very far, we made it back to the dock without difficulty, but I hated the sound of the waves and watching lightning crack the sky. Tucker stayed calm. Christian chewed him out afterward, but everything was fine.

“He should be back soon,” I say, staring out at the storm. “He’ll be fine.”

Chapter Thirty-Five

Today

He should have been back by now. Two hours have passed, and I continue to stare out of the front window, waiting for the flash of the rental car lights. There’s no reason for it to have taken so long.

Maybe I can pull up a police scanner or coast guard frequency or something. I just need to know why he’s been gone for hours longer than anticipated. Something went wrong.

Johnny comes up beside me. “Ella, he’s fine.”

“What if he’s not?” I bite my nail. Water wiggles in shallow rivers down the road and pools in the muddy corners of the yard. “What if he’s hurt? Or needs help and he doesn’t have hisphoneand he can’t call anyone.”

“That’s worst case scenario, you know it,” Johnny pacifies. He squeezes my shoulder. “Your mind’s going to the wrong place, okay, he’s not a longline fisherman in the middle of the ocean during a hurricane. He probably just docked the boat for a little while until the water calmed down.”

“It hasn’t calmed down, though.”

“Not here, but maybe it’s different where he is. These kinds of storms hit fast but they also move fast.”

I keep biting my nail and waiting.

Is this what Tucker felt when he waited for me in my parent’s house? He must have expected me at a specific time.How long did he wait before he couldn’t anymore? I can’t imagine what must have gone through his mind when he found my car.

“I should go looking for him,” I say.

Ritchie argues, “There’s nothing to search for, he’ll be back any minute.”

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