Page 30 of Tangle of Lust and Lethargy

I lost count of my breaths as I sank deeper into this meditative state. Time seemed to stretch and compress all at once. The cold of the ice beneath me faded from my awareness, replaced by a growing warmth in my chest.

Then, something shifted. The warmth intensified, becoming a steady burn. It wasn’t painful but insistent, demanding my attention. From that central point, tingling sensations radiated outward. They rolled over me in waves, from my core to the tips of my fingers and toes.

In this state of deep calm, my mind cleared. It was as if I’d stepped into the eye of a storm, a place of perfect stillness amid the chaos. The burning in my chest crescendoed, and suddenly?—

A flash of light burst behind my closed eyelids, brilliant and all-encompassing. In that flash, clarity struck. The path forward revealed itself not as a vision or a voice but as a deep, unshakeable knowing.

My eyes opened slowly, readjusting to the dim light. The visions were gone, the swirling mists dissipated. But the certainty remained, a warm glow in my chest and a clear purpose in my mind.

I knew what choice I had to make.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

I rose to my feet. An icy wind whipped around me, but I barely felt it. The warmth of certainty in my chest was a beacon showing me the way.

I knew what I had to do. Or at least, I thought I did.

As if sensing my wavering determination, the swirling visions intensified. They no longer flitted at the edges of my consciousness but thrust themselves before me with vivid clarity. Each one demanded my attention, pulling at my heart and mind with equal force.

In one vision, I saw my friends locked in battle, but this time, I noticed something I hadn’t before. A pattern to their movements, a rhythm to their conflict. If I looked closely enough, I could almost see the strings pulling them, puppeteering their actions. And in the background, a shadowy figure—the puppet master. The vision seemed to whisper, “Here lies the key to freeing them.”

Another vision bloomed before me, a magnificent bird of flame soaring over a desolate landscape. The phoenix. Its flight left a trail of rebirth in its wake, dead lands springing to life. As it flew, I caught a glimpse of a hidden valley, untouched by thedevastation around it. “Power to remake the world,” the vision seemed to promise.

My chest tightened. How could I choose? Freeing my friends from whatever force controlled them was everything I’d fought for. But the phoenix…with that power, could I not save everyone? I might have the power over life and death. Remake the world into a place where such conflicts never happened?

Maci wanted the same thing. She wanted absolute power. If I chose the phoenix, I was following in her footsteps, and I refused to be a bitch focused on revenge. The phoenix wasn’t the way.

I closed my eyes, trying to center myself, but the visions persisted behind my eyelids. Then, the third vision emerged. I saw myself, older and wearier, clutching the ornate hourglass with sand that flowed both up and down. My older self looked at me with eyes that held the weight of years, of choices made and paths not taken. She—I—didn’t offer the hourglass but held it close, a silent reminder of what was at stake.

My heart raced. My palms sweated despite the biting cold. This was it. The moment that would define everything. As I stood there, poised on the precipice of choice, a face pushed its way to the forefront of my thoughts.

Justice.

My mate. My love. The one who had stood by me through it all.

I saw him clearly in my mind’s eye, his face etched with pain from the curse that was slowly killing him. Even his vampire nature was failing to keep the curse at bay. The thought of losing him sent a spike of pain through my chest.

The visions swirled again, demanding my attention. But all I could see was Justice’s face.

I remembered the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, a rare sight that always made my heart skip a beat. I thought of his unwavering support, his quiet strength that had been my anchorin the storms we’d weathered together. Now, he was slipping away, cursed and dying.

Tears stung my eyes. This wasn’t merely a choice between power, knowledge, and saving my friends. This choice could determine whether the love of my life lived or died.

The phoenix’s power beckoned. With it, could I not cure Justice? Could I not save everyone I loved? The hourglass whispered of possibilities, of turning back time to before the curse took hold. The vision of my friends promised a way to end their conflict, to bring them back to themselves.

My hands shook with the weight of the decision before me. Each option offered a way to save Justice, to save everyone. But which was the right path?

I closed my eyes, trying to center myself amid the chaotic swirl of emotions and possibilities. I thought of Justice, of the love we shared, of the future we’d dreamed of together. A future that was slipping away with each passing moment.

“I choose…” My voice cracked, thick with unshed tears. The wind seemed to hold its breath, waiting.

Justice’s face floated before me again. Not as he was now, racked with pain, but as I’d first fallen in love with him. Strong. Kind. Alive.

“I choose love,” I whispered, the words carried away almost as soon as they left my lips. “I choose my friends. I choose Justice.”

The visions faded, the potential futures dissolving like mist. The image of the hourglass lingered longest, a silent promise of what might be if I could prove myself worthy.

As the last of them disappeared, I felt no surge of power, no sudden enlightenment. Instead, I felt a renewed sense of purpose, a fire in my heart that burned hotter than any phoenix.

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