Page 18 of How To Woo A Warrior Orc

Not nearly as handsome as Ga’Rek—too sharply beautiful, like broken glass.

Where Ga’Rek is all pleasant angles and rugged features, Caelan looks like he’ll cut you from the inside out.

But Wren is happy with him, glowing, in fact, so I’ve pushed aside my own misgivings about the trickster fae for her.

He’s not terrible either… not really. Just mischievous to a fault.

They’re both staring at Ga’Rek and me with matching bewildered expressions, but Wren surprises me by recoveringfirst. “Well. I suppose that settles the question of where he’s sleeping tonight,” she says to Caelan.

I blush.

Ga’Rek takes a step back, though, and my heart sinks.

“Piper has generously offered her spare room to me.”

“That isexceedinglyboring,” Caelan tells him.

Wren’s cheeks suck in like she’s biting them, and from the way she won’t look me in the eyes, I can tell she’s trying not to laugh at her idiot of a fae lover.

“Ga’Rek is my friend,” I say, my voice too thin and high and reedy to pass off as anything but as suddenly anxious as I am.

“And he is my friend too, little cookie witch,” Caelan says, voice full of disdain. “It’s clear that he’s interested in cream filling of another sort, so you better hope your little éclair is sturdy enough to take it.”

“Caelan,” Wren whispers, scandalized.

“Enough,” Ga’Rek’s voice cracks like a whip, attracting the attention of everyone in the vicinity.

The poor shopkeeper who’s been standing by, wringing her hands as our group monopolized the space, looks about ready to burst into tears.

“I’ll take two of the green ink pots, a navy, a set of cold-pressed parchment, and three of the pheasant quills, please,” I tell her, now dead set on ignoring Caelan completely.

She stammers a reply and begins packaging everything up. “Could I interest you in the seeded floral papers? They’re new?—”

“Yes,” I tell her emphatically, also ignoring the way Ga’Rek is downright glowering at Caelan. “I would love a set of those.”

“And we have a new pearlescent pink ink, it’s charmed to allure all your admirers…”

“YES,” I bark at the woman, “I WILL TAKE THE SEX INK.”

The crowd goes a bit silent, conversation dropping before picking back up.

My ears are red now.

I can feel them.

“Well, I’ll, uh, you know what? I’ll swing by tomorrow to check on you. And we’ll have a coven meeting tomorrow night. The coven will delegate any tasks you have left for the autumn festival.” Wren’s eyes are wide, her lips pulled away from her teeth in a cringe.

My molars grind so loudly I wouldn’t be surprised if everyone could hear them.

“I will be there too,” Ga’Rek rumbles in a no-nonsense voice. “Piper needs help and we will make sure she gets it.”

“What an exceptional friend,” Caelan says in an airy voice. “Certainly extremely normal for the Dark Queen’s former assassin orc to volunteer to put on a festival. He is very qualified, you should know.”

The shopkeep shoves a parcel into my hands, and I stare up at Caelan, who’s grinning like the fiend he is.

“He’s good at everything he does,” I tell Caelan, forcing myself to be agreeable.

Wren sighs. “Don’t encourage him?—”

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