Page 151 of Arran's Obsession

“The more I think about it, the more I believe that the reason Audrey kept her secret was so your father never found her,” Genevieve said.

I swung my gaze to her. “You think he’s Addie’s dad as well?”

She interlaced her fingers into mine. “I watched your mum’s video again yesterday. Think about it. She had a baby that she loved so much but couldn’t keep. She didn’t get pregnant again for a long time, which considering her profession, suggests she got wise with contraception. Where did the second baby come from? Had to be purposeful, right? I think she was trying to recreate the one she’d lost. But even if I’m wrong, Audrey had already suffered her worst nightmare in having a baby removed, so complete secrecy was her only safeguard.”

My chest panged. “Implying it was nothing to do with me.”

Something inside me unravelled. Something tight and cutting that had sliced into me for years.

“I’m sure you can get Shade to organise a secret DNA test if you need to be sure. Either way, are we doing this thing?” She touched her door handle.

“Wait.” I clenched my jaw, trying to catch up with my spiralling thoughts. “What if she doesn’t want anything to do with me?”

“What if she does? She has a right to know.”

Had Flora told her, or was I just as big a secret as Addie had been to me? Flora had those answers, and more I wanted to know about our mother. Yet I couldn’t make myself climb out of the car. “I thought I needed to make sure Audrey’s child didn’t suffer in the same way I had. I wanted to give her what I’d missed, but she’s happy, isn’t she? Addie doesn’t need me. Not like I need you.”

Gen reddened, her emotions close to the surface. “You missed out on love. Don’t tell me that today, the final day of our month together, you’re ready to understand that?”

I choked, making a noise halfway between laughter and shock. “I can’t love. I never learned how.”

“People learn either by example or by trying. You never heard the words until you met me. Yet all your friends love you and have been showing you that for years. In return, you provide them with care, respect, and safety. Every single person who works for you gets that. For those closest, you’d step in front of a blade for them. That’s all a form of love.”

Her eyes darkened. She pressed her hand to my chest, facing me.

“Then there’s this breathtaking, unstoppable need between us. You want to possess me, use me, but also be there for me and support me. That dark ownership, that die-for-you desire, your crazy proposal, that’s love, just broken down into its componentparts. You’re not calling it what it is. So when you’re ready, say the words. They’re already true.”

“That’s being in love?”

“Ever felt it for anyone else?”

“Never.”

“But you feel it now?”

I tested the word in my head. Couldn’t make it reach my lips. “Say it to me.”

“I love you, Arran.”

“Again.” Since she’d started, I couldn’t hear it enough.

“I’m so in love with you I want to strangle you sometimes.”

I tried to laugh. It came out cracked. “I don’t know if what you’re saying about parts is true, but that list is just the start of what I feel about you. So whatever it is, you have my broken pieces. They’ll always be yours. I hope that’s enough.”

“Can I take this off yet?”

She tugged at the choker around her neck. I’d taken it off her in our apartment using the tool that opened the clasp but put it right back on when she slept. And hidden the tool again.

“Fuck no. The threat to us isn’t over.”

“Then try out the words, because I know they’re there.”

“I…might…want to fuck you.”

She glared daggers. “Try again.”

“I…might…have a lineup of shit I’m going to put inside you later.”

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