Page 68 of Endless Love

But if I tell him no, he’s going to know exactly why. And my cheeks heat just at the thought of Ivan knowing that I’m so skittish of the tension between us that I can’t even put on a swimsuit.

“Sure,” I say bravely. “I think I’m going to take another shower after breakfast. And then I’ll change, and we can go down.”

Ivan chuckles. “It’s brunch, really. Look at the time.”

Glancing over at the clock, I realize I slept just past noon. I’d known I was exhausted, but I hadn’t realized just how much.

I shovel down the rest of my food, before slipping out of the bed and going to the dresser to get my clothes. I’d bought a long, loose shirt to sleep in yesterday, and I see Ivan pause with his fork halfway to his mouth out of the corner of my eye, his gaze flicking to my bare legs.

If he’s that distracted by my legs, I’m reconsidering the wisdom of wearing the bathing suit. But I grab it anyway, retreating quickly to the bathroom.

When I’ve changed, I look at myself in the mirror, biting my lip. It’s been a while since I’ve had a reason to wear a swimsuit. I’ve lost weight since the last time, and not entirely in a good way, but there’s still a curve to my chest and my hips. The royal blue bikini that I picked out, with a faint turquoise sparkle to the fabric, still clings to me more enticingly than is probably wise.

I grab the turquoise coverup that goes with it, throw it on, and wrap the tie around my waist. At the very least, it’s better if Ivan doesn’t see this until we’re out in public.

I feel jittery as we head out into the casino. Even at this early afternoon hour, there are still people on the casino floor, pulling slot machines, throwing dice, and playing cards. They call New York City thecity that never sleeps,but from what I’ve seen, I think that could be applied to Vegas as well. I follow Ivan down the stairs and to another section of the hotel, the scent of thechlorine hitting my nose before I see the pool area. And when I do, I stop in my tracks for a moment, staring at it.

It’s incredible. A huge, shimmering circular pool filled with dark blue water is the centerpiece of the room, with a seashell-topped gazebo at one end, large golden lights hanging from the ceiling, and gold velvet curtains pulled back on either side at the center. The tile under my feet is a slick midnight blue, and surrounding the pool are gold and dark blue velvet couches. There’s a bar at one end, and the entire thing is a picture of such exotic opulence that all I can do is stare for a moment.

“Isn’t it gorgeous?” Ivan asks, and I nod, still taking it all in.

Especially after the time we’ve spent on the road, this feels like the most luxurious thing that I’ve done in a long time. Ivan orders us two fruity drinks from the bar, and I dip my feet in the cool water before untying my coverup and slipping it off.

The moment I do, I catch Ivan’s eye. His mouth opens for a brief second before he shuts it again, dropping down to sit on one of the couches near the pool’s edge. He seems momentarily speechless, and I slip into the water, letting it cover me up to mid-chest in an effort to ward off any awkwardness.

But it isn’t awkward. Not really. That’s not the feeling that’s crackling in the air between us as Ivan looks away, seemingly trying to regain his composure.

I swim away from the pool’s edge, letting the cool water wash over me, trying to slow my racing heart. The tension between Ivan and me is palpable, and I can feel his eyes on me even when I'm not looking at him. I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of chlorine and tropical flowers from the nearby potted plants.

“The pool is great,” I call out to him from where I’m standing, a more comfortable distance between us now. “Are you going to come in?”

Ivan hesitates for a moment, then seems to realize that’s what we’re here to do. “I suppose I should,” he says, and there’sa rasp to his voice as he says it, standing up as he reaches for the edge of his shirt. I look away instinctively, but I can’t keep my eyes off of him forever, and I catch a glimpse of his muscled chest and abs, the black ink swirling over his skin, as he slips into the water. The bruises on his torso have started to fade a bit, yellowish-green in the golden light from the chandeliers.

“Won’t anyone think it’s odd, if they see the bruises?” I ask, glancing around to see if anyone is staring at us. Some other guests are starting to filter in to the pool area, and I feel a flicker of tension. We’ve been trying to stay out of sight for so long that it feels odd to have that restriction loosened now. But I don’t see anyone who looks suspicious, or either of the men we’re trying to actively avoid.

“Nah.” Ivan leans back against the pool’s edge, and I have to once again try to tear my gaze from his chest. “They’ll just think I’m an MMA fighter or something. Plenty of fights are hosted here.”

“Oh. That makes sense.” I trail my fingers through the water, lingering for a moment longer before I push myself up out of the pool, trying not to think about how clearly I can feel Ivan’s eyes on me as I walk over to where our drinks are waiting.

Screw it, I think, as I take a long sip of the fruity, vodka-laced cocktail. If we’re going to be here for a few days, I want to enjoy it if I can. And I can’t do that constantly worrying if I’m stoking the embers of the attraction that Ivan and I have for each other.

I take another sip of the drink, and stretch out on the velvet couch. The fabric rubs pleasantly against the backs of my legs, and I close my eyes, letting out a long, slow breath. I feel some of the tightness seep out of my shoulders, and I think I might drift off into a doze, because the next thing I know, I feel a damp palm against my shoulder.

I jolt back to consciousness, on the verge of scrambling back when my eyes open, and I see Ivan sitting on the edge of thecouch next to me. It takes me a moment to see the worry in his eyes, and I go very still, watching him warily.

“What’s going on?”

“There’s someone who’s been inching closer to where you’re sitting.” Ivan’s voice is low, barely audible. “I’ve been watching him. I need you to get up, and we’ll go together up to the hotel room. Slowly, as if nothing’s wrong.” His voice tightens, and I see him glancing over to one side, presumably where the man who’s been trying to get closer to me is.

Slowlysounds like an impossibility in this situation. But I’ve learned to do a lot of things lately that have felt impossible.

I try to look normal, as I sit up. My heart is racing, but I force myself to move casually, wondering the whole time if that’s somehow making it even more obvious that I’m trying tomakemyself behave naturally. I slip my coverup back on with shaking hands, standing up as Ivan stands with me.

We start to walk towards the exit, and I feel the heat of Ivan’s hand against my back, his fingers tense against my spine. I resist the urge to look over my shoulder, to see if someone is following us.

As we reach the hallway to the stairs, I hear footsteps behind us, quicker now. Ivan’s hand presses flat against my back, as if to push me forward, and we both walk faster. The elevators are to our right, and I can hear the footsteps getting closer.

“Elevators instead,” Ivan says sharply. “Run!”

---