Page 66 of Endless Love

No rush.I exhale as I hear those words, a relief that I didn’t expect washing over me. I hear him walk away, and I let out a breath, swallowing hard as I think of going out into that room, where he is. My reflection in the mirror looks flushed, and I have a feeling that it’s from more than just the hot shower. I finish drying off quickly, wrapping my wet hair in a second, smaller towel before slipping out into the main room.

There’s a bag on the bed waiting for me, a sleek pink bag with ribbon strings. It feels like Ivan got me a gift, and my heart turns over oddly in my chest. I walk over and open it, seeing a pair of soft-looking jeans and a black t-shirt inside. When I take them out, I see a new pair of black cotton underwear and a matching bra inside, and my cheeks flush hot, thinking of Ivan picking out underwear for me. I’m suddenly glad that he’s not in the room with me to see my reaction.

The clothes all fit perfectly. The way the jeans mold to my body makes me think of Ivan gripping my hips, and I flush deeper, trying to ignore the racing of my heart as I tug the t-shirt on over my head. I can smell a hint of Ivan’s scent on the fabric, and my stomach flutters, my traitorous emotions a tangle of confusion once again.

Ivan is in the adjoining living room, standing by the window with his back to me. He glances over at me, and I see the flash of heat in his eyes before he looks towards the bathroom. “My turn,” he says, and his words sound oddly tight as he strides past me, straight into the bathroom, carrying his fresh clothes with him.

He shuts the door behind him, and a few minutes later, I hear the sound of the water turning on. I sink down onto the edge of the bed, trying not to think about him stripping down, his nakedbody under the hot water, the way it would look running over all of that taut, muscled flesh.

The temptation to go in and join him is strong. But he’s made it clear that he only wants that if I’m willing to tell him that I believe him. That I believe what he feels for me is real. That I believe there’s more to this than just his lies and deceit.

And if I admit that, everything changes.

When Ivan comes back out a little while later, he’s wearing a pair of slim-cut black jeans and a fitted grey henley that accentuates his broad chest and muscled shoulders. I feel my mouth go a little dry as I see him, and I swallow hard, trying to ignore all the dirty thoughts swirling around in my head.

“Let’s go shopping,” he says, motioning to the door with one hand as he runs the other through his damp, dark blond hair. “Get some things you can actually pick out for yourself.”

I can feel that Ivan is on edge as we head down to the shops. His head is on a swivel, constantly scanning our surroundings without being obvious as we walk through the lavish resort. His hand hovers near me, never quite touching the small of my back or taking my hand, but I can feel the heat radiating off of his palm, somehow even more than if he’d been actually touching me. He’s tense, and it makes me tense too.

I catch sight of us, walking side by side, in one of the shop windows. We look like we could be any couple, on a shopping trip together in Vegas—on a vacation for our anniversary, even, like Ivan had told the cab driver. But I know better.

“Did you talk to your contact yet?” I ask quietly as we walk into the first store.

“Not yet.” Ivan’s voice is equally low. “When we get back to the room.” He speaks louder, looking around the store. “Pick whatever you want. Make sure to get a bathing suit, too, there’s a gorgeous pool here. And something nice to wear, in case we go out. Don’t worry about the price.”

I’ve done pretty well for myself in my life, butdon’t worry about the priceisn’t something I’ve ever gotten to do before. I feel a small thrill of excitement, momentarily forgetting about the situation that we’re in. The store is full of designer clothes, shoes, and accessories that would make Zoe and Jaz both salivate just looking at them, and I know Ivan meant it when he said that I could pick out whatever I want.

A part of me feels guilty for taking him up on it. I’m planning on leaving him, and I know his generosity is about more than just keeping me safe here. He doesn’t have to buy me fancy clothes to do that. It’s about trying to make up for everything he’s done. I don’t have any intention of forgiving him, so I shouldn’t take advantage of what he’s offering.

But the temptation is there, and just now, it’s one that I’m too weak to ignore.

I grab a few items as Ivan hangs out near one of the racks, half-watching me and half keeping an eye out for anyone suspicious. I slip into one of the dressing rooms, viscerally aware of the fact that Ivan is just outside. That he’s undoubtedly thinking about me undressing in here, trying on the items I brought with me, just as I was thinking about him in the shower earlier. A hot jolt of tension prickles down my spine, and I yank an emerald green cocktail dress off of its hanger, trying not to wonderexactlywhat he’s picturing right now.

I can’t help but think of what his reaction would be if he saw me walk out in this right now, though. I can picture his eyes darkening with desire, the way his fingers would curl into his palms with the effort not to touch me. The moments we’ve shared together are an intimacy that means I’ve learned little things about him that I can’t forget, and I realize that I’ve noticed more than I ever meant to.

And if I wore it out on a real date with him? Like the ones we went on before?The fantasy is too tempting. With so muchunknown in front of me, Ivan is a familiarity that I want to reach out and cling to. I have to remind myself, constantly, of what he’s done.

I step out of the dressing room a few minutes later, clutching the green dress and a few other items. Ivan’s gaze immediately flicks to me, like a magnet, his eyes sliding over me intensely, as if he’s imagining everything I just tried on. He sees the slip of green fabric, and I see his throat contract.

"Find anything you like?" he asks, his voice low and husky.

I nod, not trusting myself to speak. Ivan takes the clothes from my arms, his fingers brushing mine. A jolt of electricity shoots through me at the brief contact.

"I'll take these to the register," he says. "Why don't you pick out some shoes to go with that dress?" A small smile curves the corners of his lips, and my heart flutters despite myself.

As I browse the shoe section, trying to focus on stilettos instead of Ivan, I can't shake the feeling of being watched. I glance around nervously, but don't see anyone suspicious. Still, the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I pick up a pair of nude heels, as well as a pair of black boots to go with the jeans I picked out, and look around again. I don’t see any sign of anyone who resembles Bradley or Lev, but I still feel uneasy. Earlier I wanted to go out, but now I’m starting to feel as if I want to retreat back to the room.

I hurry over to Ivan, who's just finishing up at the register. His eyes narrow as he sees my expression.

"What's wrong?" he asks in a low voice, glancing around.

"I'm not sure," I whisper back, feeling that cold sensation prickle along the back of my neck again. "I just... I feel like someone's watching us."

Ivan's jaw tightens. He nods once, then casually drapes his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close. His lips brush against the side of my head, sending a different kind of shiverdown my spine. To anyone else, we probably look like a couple sharing an intimate moment. But I can feel the tension in his muscles.

"Stay close," he murmurs in my ear. "We're going to walk out of here very casually. Don't look around. Just act natural. We’re just out doing some shopping, going back up to our room before dinner."

My heart pounds as we make our way out of the store. Ivan's arm remains firmly around me, and as much as I don’t want to let him touch me, as much as it rouses a storm of emotion in me that I’m not prepared to deal with, I don’t pull away. Right now, he’s the only safe thing I have.

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