Page 41 of Endless Love

Even if it would feel good, for a moment, to punish him by telling him yes, when I know the answer is no. It would hurt me later, after. When he realizes that I’ve lied. That I’ve taken something from him as revenge for what he’s taken from me.

I should want that more than I do. I shoulddoit. But I can’t bring myself to, and that’s how I know this has gone so much further than it should.

My hesitation is all the answer Ivan needs. But he doesn’t move, his gaze hardening. “Answer me,” he says roughly, and hisfingers touch my chin, forcing me to look at him. “Would it be real?”

I bite my lip as I shake my head, one quick, brief movement. And just as fast, Ivan pulls away from me, rolling off of the bed. I can see the evidence of his arousal tenting the front of his pants, but he ignores it, striding to where his clothes are tossed over the chair. He grabs them up in his hand, heading to the bathroom, and he slams the door behind him, hard.

I feel tears sting my eyes, watching him go. And I can’t figure out why I’m about to cry over a man, who I never should have gotten feelings for at all.

19

IVAN

Islept better than I can remember having slept in a long time. I wasn’t entirely sure why that was, until I woke up on top of Charlotte, and realized what must have happened.

I spent the night curled around her. The first time I’ve slept next to a woman all night that I can recall—and it meant nothing. Nothing to her, anyway.

That shake of her head when I asked if it would be real felt like that knife slicing through me all over again, so hot and sharp that I half expected to see my blood on her hands. A physical cut might have hurt less.

The tension between us is as thick as ever as we leave. I’m short with her, my frustration making me wound tight, and there’s no solution for it. None that I’m willing to give into, anyway. I got myself off in the shower last night, and again this morning before I dressed after I left her in bed, but it’s like patting an itch you want to scratch. It barely takes the edge off.

All that will satisfy me is her. And I refuse to fuck her again until she’s willing to admit that it’s me she wants. Just like this, just as I am.

Those thoughts dig at me all day, only agitating my already bitter mood. But all of it flies out of my head when we pull into the Starview Motel for the night, the only one in the one-red-light town that we just drove through, and I see two familiar figures leaning against a silver Acura.

I know that car. And I know my brothers, even from the distance we’re at, as I slow down.

I slam the car into park, and Charlotte gasps.

“Shouldn’t we be running?” she whispers, and I shake my head sharply, drawing my gun.

“I’m going to make sure they don’t chase us again,” I growl, that frustrated need that’s been chewing at me all day morphing into a thirst for violence. I want either sex or blood right now, and where one isn’t possible, the other is a decent enough substitute.

“They’re your brothers?—”

“Stay here.” The words come out sharp, clipped, and I leave the car running as I open the door and step out onto the pavement, the gun visible next to my side as I stride towards the two of them.

Both Niki and Ani push off the side of the car, taking a step towards me. I narrow my eyes when I see that neither of them appears to have a weapon in their hands.

“Ivan,” Niki calls out first, raising his hands slightly to show that they’re empty. “Talk to us.”

“The only thing I want coming out of your mouth is your own blood,” I snarl, my finger brushing against the trigger of my gun as I stride closer. “I’m done with this bullshit, Niki. I’m done being chased by you twoandthe fucking FBI.”

Niki blanches slightly. “Why?—”

“None of your fucking business.” I raise the gun, aiming it at him. “I said, I’m done with this.”

“Ivan—”

I’m on him in another stride, backing him towards the car. I shove my gun into the hollow of his throat just as I see Ani slip his hand out of his pocket, a switch knife in his fingers. In one swift movement, I reach out with my left hand, grabbing the handle and Ani’s fingers at the same time, and twisting hard enough that I hear them pop.

Ani lets out a high shriek, stumbling back, and I shove the gun harder against Niki’s throat.

“I’ve been running a wild goose chase ever since we left Illinois,” I snarl. “How are you finding us? How did you even catch up to us so fast?” I see Ani moving towards me again, and I hold up a finger, glaring at him sideways. “Keep moving, and I’ll blow his throat open.”

I honestly don’t know if the threat will work. If it was Lev, he’d tell me to go ahead and fucking kill him. But Ani and Niki have always had the common thread of being my father’s bonus children, the ones he ignores until he needs to use them for something, and I have a feeling that’s created a bond between them. It’s what I’m banking on, and as I see Ani hesitate, I know it was the right call.

Ani slowly puts his hands up, backing down. “Fine,” he says shortly. “Lev managed to get the security footage of Charlotte’s apartment building. He saw you leaving with her in the car you were driving before. He sent some guys to follow up on your decoys, and when none of them led him to you, he figured you’d just taken Charlotte out of town and were making a run for it. And he was right, obviously.”

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