Page 89 of Well Played

When our food is ready, we walk back toward the pits together without speaking. We’re parked on opposite ends of the field and we part ways with a stiff nod from me and a tight smile from her.

Eddie helps me hand out food and we all take a quick break to eat before things get underway.

The rest of the night passes in a blur of sweat and dirt and ends with a checkered flag for Eddie and a DNF for Charly. After we finish the winner’s circle celebrations and packing up the hauler for the night, I desperately want to go check on her, but her team’s already left.

I resist the urge to send her a message, but I know she’s not hurt. At least not physically. She’ll be beating herself up about these mistakes that have been plaguing her since Barber.

From watching dad, I know there’s always some sort of question that lingers in your mind after something big and it can really eat at your confidence. Especially late at night when there’s no one there to distract you.

But I hold myself back because she needs space, and I swore I would give it to her.

I’m looking forward to a quiet night in the hotel. We’re racing here again tomorrow, so we don’t have to take off and drive through the night to get to our next track.

All of us pile into the truck and make the short drive over. When we get there, we haul luggage out and go to the check-in desk. While I get the bill settled and collect keys to hand out, the guys mingle with some of the other teams who are in the lobby.

It’s getting toward the end of the season and everyone is tired, but not tired enough to not take advantage of an early night. Bit by bit, the group migrates toward the hotel’s bar. Several of my guys sit with members of Charly’s team, and I give them a longing look.

Breaking up with Charly was bad enough, but in some ways, our teams had to break up too, and I miss them just as much. Over this spring and summer, we’d gotten to be good friends.

I motion Eddie over and slip him my card. “Drinks are on me tonight. Don’t let them stay up too late.”

He gives me an assessing look before nodding and leaving me with my duffle bag and room key in my hand. The elevator door opens and I head upstairs alone to pretend to sleep.

8

Charly

Fall at Eldorafeels different from spring at Eldora.

For one thing, I’m more confident in my skills and I know I’ve improved since I first raced here in May.

But some things are also the same.

When I came here in the spring, I didn’t have Robbie in my life and now I don’t again.

Loneliness and guilt war in my heart. If I was stronger, braver, I’d have gone to him right away after I found out about the rumors and told him we’ll figure it out.

Actually, I never would have left. The gossip about me is inevitable, but I let my fear control my decisions and I’d caved to the pressure.

It’s taken me too long to figure that out. Now I don’t know how to apologize, or if he’d even want to hear it. We’ve been avoiding each other and keeping things strictly professional.

A hauler pulls in next to us and I look up to see the big Faraday Racing logo sliding by. The world tilts a little and déjàvu washes over me. It’s just like this spring and I fight down the sudden urge to waltz over and pretend to introduce myself again.

No, you need to focus. If you win tonight, you’ll retake the championship lead.

I can hear my dad’s voice in my head, steering me back on track. Back to focusing on the race and the mechanics of what’s going on.

Nothing else.

If dad would have been with me this season, he’d have told me every secret he knew to help me improve my performance on track and my focus off track.

He would have wanted me to focus entirely on my career goals, to the exclusion of everything else. He’d be celebrating right alongside me now that I have a signed contract to race entry level Indy cars next year with a path to the big cars the year after that.

He would have told me I never should have started a relationship with Robbie.

It might be the first thing I’m surehe was wrong about.

Now the only person I want to tell about the deal isn’t talking to me.

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