Page 88 of The Prez

Raf stares over at me, searching my eyes. “I don’t know. I thought … I thought being here would help me. I’m not sure how, but I thought I’d feel … better. But all I feel is empty.”

Leaning my head on his shoulder, I nod. “I get it. I think this’ll help. Maybe not now, but in the future, you’ll look back and see that you did right by Elena. You did right by her husband and Little Raf. It may not feel like it right now, but you did. Youare.”

He smiles, kissing me quickly. “Yeah, maybe.” He makes quick work of packing the bathroom, most of the items here expired and heading for the trash. Once he has the box taped and set in the hallway, he says, “Come on. We have one more room.”

By some unspoken consent, we left Elena and Alejandro’s room for last.

Raf steps inside, looking around with sad eyes. He moves over to the right side of the bed. There are a pair of earrings, a bracelet and lotion on the nightstand. This must have been Elena’s side of the bed. He stands there, looking at the items, not moving for many long moments.

When he doesn’t make a move to start packing, simply staring at the nightstand, I place my hand on his forearm. “Here,” I say when he meets my eyes. “Take Little Raf and I’ll do it.”

A single tear streaks his face, but he wipes it quickly, nodding. He takes the sleeping baby from my arms and I take the box from him. He sits on the bed and I get started, opening the top drawer of her nightstand, and pulling out all the items and arranging them in the box.

When I open the second drawer, I see a bent and dented cardboard box. On the top, it says ‘Rafael’.

“Um, baby?” He looks at me and I pull the box out. “You think this is for you or Little Raf?”

He shrugs and pulls open the top. He reaches inside and pulls out a letter. It’s addressed to Rafael Orozco. “Guess it’s for me.”

Sitting beside him, I thumb through the letters, all addressed to Big Raf with stamps and everything, but none of them have postal markings. “You think she was ever going to send them?” I ask rhetorically.

“From the looks of it,” he says in a gruff voice, “I don’t think so.”

“Want to read them now?”

He shakes his head but doesn’t say anything more. I set them aside and finishing packing up the nightstand. Then I move to the closet and start packing up clothes. I take a few items that I think Little Raf will want and I put the rest in boxes for donation.

By the time I have the room packed, Little Raf is stirring. I tape the box and set it in the hallway. “Come on. I think we’re done here. The guys should be finished with the front of the house.”

I take Little Raf and the box of letters from the bed and head out to the SUV. I stash the letters on the floor on the passenger side. Big Raf comes out a few moments later with two boxes in his hands, items he intends to take back with us for him and the baby.

Just as we’re packing up to leave and the men from the Georgia chapter are heading off, the moving truck arrive to pick up the boxes. They have orders to take boxes labeled to donate to a local homeless shelter and others to the Goodwill. The furniture is being transported to the clubhouse in Georgia so they can get some use out of it.

Five hours after we get there, we head home, tired and sweaty. I asked if Big Raf wanted to stay in North Carolina for the night, but he said he’s ready to get home. I know he’s had a trying day, so I offer to drive so he can get some rest.

He and Little Raf are out like a light by the time I pull onto the interstate. I smile as I look at both of them—how much alike they look even in slumber. I’m the luckiest man on earth to have the both of them.

CHAPTER 24

RAFAEL

I circlethat box of letters for at least two weeks after we get back from packing Elena’s house. Omari has asked me a time or two if I wanted to read one, but I’m not ready yet. I know it might make me sound weak, but I’m afraid of what I’ll find. Probably more of the same words she spewed when last I saw her. I’m not prepared for it.

Besides, I have no time to think about it now. I have a party to attend.

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!” everyone around us sings as Omari places a vegan smash cake in front of Little Raf with a large number one on it. “Happy birthday, Little Raf, happy birthday to you!” We all clap and Omari lights the candle.

Standing beside him, Omari and I blow out the candle, much to the happiness of Little Raf. He immediately digs his hands into the cake, stuffing his full fists into his mouth. Everyone assembled laughs and flashes go off as Hazel takes pictures of him enjoying his birthday cake.

We had to search for a vegan bakery that would make thecake special for Little Raf, as we tried on our own to make a cake without eggs and failed miserably.

It’s hard to believe I’ve had Little Raf for almost six months. It’s even harder to believe I didn’t want anything to do with him when he was handed to me in that hospital waiting room. Now, I can’t imagine my life without him. He’s made my life worth living, made every day worth waking up.

He and Omari came into my life like a whirlwind, shaking up my existence in ways I never thought possible. I would fucking lose it if I lost either of them.

“Alright Uncles,” Hazel says, lowering her camera. “Get in a photo with Little Raf. Let’s get a picture of the family.”

Omari and I bend to pose beside a messy faced Little Raf and Hazel snaps pictures. “Smile, Big Raf,” she threatens, making us laugh.

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