Page 45 of The Prez

Sighing, I run my hands through my hair, tugging at the ends. I’m surprised I even told him about Little Raf. No one outside of my brothers and Maria know about him. “It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Look, I know I give you shit?—”

“We’re cool,” I tell Joker, clapping him on the shoulder. “Now let’s get this fucking ceremony going. I need a drink.”

After staring me down to make sure I really mean it, Joker howls like a loon, banging on the bar top. Zeke whistles loudly, getting everyone’s attention. “Alright listen up, Prez has something to say. We’re going to start the ceremony and Devil’s Mayhem, Hunterfield chapter will be initiated.”

Howls and cheers crop up and everyone turns to look at me. It’s not often I speak in front of anyone except the brothers I know, but they need to know who I am and who they’ll have to answer to if they fuck up.

I wait until everyone grows quiet then I step more into the room. “Some of you know me, some of you don’t. For those that don’t, I’m Rafael. You can call me Prez.” A few people laugh, though I’m not joking. “Being a part of Devil’s Mayhem means you’ll always have family. You’ll always be a part of something bigger than yourself. All we require is your loyalty. If you’re loyal, the rewards will be great. If you fuck me over, there is nothing I won’t do to make sure I have the last laugh.” Some of the brothers I know personally send me approving smiles. “Now that you’re a part of Devil’s Mayhem, make sure you rep your cut at all times and if someone fucks you over, you make them pay. Entendido?” More brothers clap and some pat me on the back. A beer is thrust into my hand and the party begins.

Despite what I said to Joker, I don’t want to drink. My mind is still firmly in Tennessee, with Omari and Little Raf. I want to be here with my brothers, but I want to be with them even more. Something iswrong. But I don’t know what. Mama always told me to listen to my gut. I am, but I don’t know what the fuck I’m listening out for.

The noise of the party and the handsy hangarounds that won’t leave me the fuck alone have me going outside, sitting by one of the fire pits alone. I never have much fun at parties, always too serious to let loose, but this has to be the least funI’ve ever had. Too much going on when all I want to do is sit in silence.

I look into the fire, not really seeing but feeling. I wish I knew what was going on, but all I have is a heavy heart, thumping roughly in my chest.

“Prez!” I hear a frantic cry behind me. I stand and turn, seeing Zeke pushing through the crowd. He rushes over to me, thrusting his phone at me. “It’s Omari. Little Raf is hurt.”

This is it. This is what this fucked up feeling I’ve been carrying around all day has been.

I snatch the phone from his hand as I run through the clubhouse, pulling my keys out as I go. “What happened?” I bark into the phone.

Omari’s sobs greet me, but they’re broken and glitching. “He … bad … ER and … please … here … gotta come … because …” Then the phone beeps in my ear. I pull it away and it says the signal was lost.

“Fuck!” I scream, tossing Zeke his phone back. “I gotta go.”

“Yeah, go. Pete can drive you.”

“I’m not fucking waiting,” I growl, throwing my leg over my chopper and starting it quickly. “I need to get back to my family.”

I don’t wait for a reply, I just thrust my helmet on my head and pull away from the clubhouse, gunning the throttle and pointing in the direction of home.

My life was going too well, everything was falling into place too easily. I should have known there was something that would bring me low.

What is wrong with him? Why is Little Raf in the emergency room? Will I make it in time?

Oh fuck, what if I don’t? What if I miss him just like I did my sister? Just like with my sister, I never told Little Raf I loved him. I never held him without my guard up. I never lethim see who I really am. It might not mean anything to him, since he’s only eight months old, but it’ll be something I’ll have to live with for the rest of my days.

I don’t want to add Little Raf to my dead. I need him. He and Omari are the only bright spots in my life. For years, I’ve been going through the motions, taking care of my brothers, but not having anything for myself. But Omari and Little Raf? They’re mine. They’re what I have for my own. I can’t say goodbye to Little Raf. Not before I can be the uncle he deserves.

If I make it, if he’s okay, I swear I’ll do better. I pray to a god I don’t really believe in that he’ll be okay. I just need one more chance to prove to him that I can be better. I just need one more chance to show him, to showthem both.

It’s time I open myself up. It’ll hurt, it’ll be hard, but I need to. I won’t have anything for myself unless I do.

The ride to the hospital takes no time at all. One minute, I’m on the highway in Georgia, the next, I’m parking haphazardly in a space in front of the emergency room, barely putting my kickstand down before I run into the hospital.

When I step inside, I look left and right, trying to find Omari. I don’t see anyone. I rush to the desk, a feeling of déjà vu overtaking me as I bang on the counter to get the nurse’s attention. She looks up at me, a fearful look in her eyes as her gaze roams over me, landing on my cut.

“Hey!” I shout when she just stares. “Where is Rafael Suarez? He was brought here …” I check my watch and I’m startled to realize I only left an hour and fifteen minutes ago. It took close to two hours to get to Hunterfield. “An hour ago. Where is he?”

She looks around like she’s searching for him behind the desk. “What the fuck are you doing?” I growl. “Find my fucking nephew now!”

The nurse squeaks, two fat tears leaking from her eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m new, I don’t?—”

“I don’t give a fuck how long you’ve been here. Find my fucking nephew before I knock all this shit over. Now!”

“Raf?” a soft voice says behind me and I turn around quickly to find Omari standing just at the end of the hall. I speed walk over to him, taking in his frightened face. “He’s here.”

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