Page 25 of The Prez

I quickly shoot him a text back.

Me: Heading in now. Give me an hour.

I toss my phone on the bed and head into my en suite bathroom. I take a quick shower, then get dressed in a black shirt and black slacks.

When I step out into the living room, I find Omari on the couch with Little Raf in his arms. He’s holding the baby’s tiny hands and making him clap while Little Raf blows raspberries. My heart clenches at the sight. Omari is so good with him. He’s the type of parent Little Raf deserves.

Why can’t I be like that? Why can’t I learn to be the type of parent Little Raf needs?

Omari looks over at me and his eyes grow wide. His light brown cheeks flush and he licks his lips nervously. “Good morning, Big Raf.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. I guess that name is going to stick. “Morning. Sleep well?”

He breathes a soft laugh. “No, not really.” He looks at me knowingly and I feel my lips twitch. I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only one feeling out of sorts last night. “Heading out on your bike?” He looks me up and down. “Shouldn’t you be wearing something like leather and what not?”

I chuckle, tucking my helmet under my arm. “I’ve been riding like this for decades, precioso. I’m perfectly safe.”

He grunts but doesn’t say anything to the contrary. Little Raf reaches up and pulls on his ear and Omari smiles down at him. “You want all my attention, huh, big man?”

“How is he?” I blurt out before I lose my nerve. “Is he … happy?”

Omari looks up at me with a soft expression. “He’s one of the happiest babies I’ve ever met.” He stands up with the chunky baby in his arms, his dark hair flopping in his eyes. “Wanna hold him?”

I shake my head and step back. He’ll know. If I touch Little Raf, he’ll know that I’m a failure and I wouldn’t be able to protect him. Even as a baby, he’ll know. I can’t do that to him. I can’t risk him hating me.

“No,” I say and Omari stops, his eyes sad. “I’ll get him some insurance today so you can take him to his appointments.” I scurry out of the door before they both see how much of a failure I am.

CHAPTER 8

OMARI

“Here arethe insurance papers you need,” Big Raf says behind me as I’m getting Little Raf dressed a few days later. I look over my shoulder and see him holding a manilla envelope. “For Baby Rafael to see a doctor.”

“Oh,” I say, surprised. I told him I needed them, but didn’t think he’d actually do it. He didn’t seem real keen on doing anything for Little Raf. “Did you add me as his guardian as well? Not that I’m his guardian, but you know.”

“Shane gave you medical proxy for Little Raf.” I grin at his use of the nickname. “You can make all medical decisions. Just run them by me first, yeah?”

“Of course.” I stand the baby up, letting him bounce a few times before I take him in my arms. “Looks like we can make some appointments, big man. How does that sound?” Little Raf babbles and I smile. I look up at Big Raf and decide to try again. “Want to hold him?” I hold my breath, hoping he’ll at least try. He asked me the other day how he was, so maybe he’s making strides to be better.

To my surprise, he dips his head quickly and holds hisarms out. I stifle my smile as I hand him the baby, watching how he arranges him in his arms awkwardly.

Big Raf looks at me with wide eyes. “Am I doing this right?”

“You are. Well, here.” I adjust the baby in his arms so he’s not holding him as he would a newborn. “There. That’s it.”

He looks down at Little Raf in awe, like he can’t believe he’s holding him or that the baby is quiet while he’s doing it. I step back, allowing them a moment.

A minute or two later, he hands him back to me, looking almost relieved. “I’ll be back late. Will you be up?”

“Umm,” I stammer, stunned. Raf has never asked me anything like that. I didn’t think he really paid me any attention. Well, not until … that night. “Probably. I usually stick to Little Raf’s schedule.”

“Okay.” He stares at me for a brief moment, his eyes trailing down my body like they did when we were in the kitchen. Then he leaves, taking my breath with him.

With shaky hands, I pull out my phone and shoot Shane a text, needing some adult interaction. And someone that knows Big Raf.

Me: I have to run an errand today, but do you think Little Raf and I can take you up on the offer to hang out?

Shane texts back immediately.

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