Page 52 of The Prez

“Raf—”

“I have his food, his diapers, his change of clothes, his favorite toy. We’re covered. Go enjoy your day.”

Sighing, I bid them both goodbye and head out. For a little while, I drive around aimlessly, not knowing what to do with myself. I usually have the baby with me when I’m out and we’re running errands and shopping. Now I’m lost.

The twins are in school so I can’t go pester them. Maybe Hazel can get off early. When I get to a red light, I pick up my phone and call her.

“Hey, Mari. What are you up to?”

I whine pathetically. “I’m bored, Hazel. Raf gave me the day off and I don’t know what to do with myself.”

She chuckles. “Come over. I’m going in late today.”

“Say less. I’ll be there soon.”

I hang up and point the car in the direction of her house. When I arrive, I hop out, dancing up to her door so we can spend some uninterrupted time together.

Hazel opens the door before I can knock. “Hey! How does it feel to be child free?” she asks as she wraps her arms around my neck.

“Ugh,” I pout. “I hate it.”

“That’s how it is the first time. Remember the first day I went back to work?” I nod. “I was a mess. I couldn’t wait to get back home with the twins. So, I get it.”

We have a seat in her living room and Hazel makes me a cup of coffee. I accept it gratefully, taking a long sip.

“So, how are things going? How’s your boyfriend?”

I blush as I sip more of the amazing coffee. “He’s good. Things are going well.”

I told Hazel that Big Raf claimed me in front of his brothers after what happened with Little Raf at the hospital. She, of course, told me to be careful, especially after I told her who Raf really is.

I didn’t purposely keep from her that he was the president of the infamous Devil’s Mayhem MC that people think terrorize this town. I mean, they might, what with how he treated me in his night club all those months ago. I’ve heard of a few instances, but they’re not the terrorists some in the community try to make them out to be. They’ve all been good to me and Little Raf. They’re like tame wolves. They’re loyal to their own but will rip a motherfucker apart for fucking with what’s theirs.

My sister gives me a knowing smile. “I like seeing you thishappy. I feel like I haven’t seen you smile like this in years. When do I get to meet him?”

“I’m not sure. Will you tell him you have a gun in your purse like you did Brock?”

She barks a laugh, drinking her coffee before she says, “No. I’m sure he has a gun of his own. I just want to meet the man that my little brother fell in love with.”

I cough and sputter, almost choking on my coffee. “What?” I croak out, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not stupid or blind, Mari. Your eyes say it all. You love that man.”

Sighing, I nod, not even trying to deny it now. “I do. God, am I an idiot? He’s not exactly on the right side of the law. I don’t know the ins and outs, but I’m sure he’s into something illegal. I should … find someone more my speed?”

Hazel puts her cup down. “Has ‘your speed’ ever worked out?” she asks, air quoting the words. I chuckle, shaking my head. “I don’t think you’re an idiot for loving someone. Just be careful.”

“I will.” I exhale roughly, sitting back on the couch. “I’m not sure how he’ll feel about my falling in love with him. It’s like … he’s holding himself back from me. I don’t know what that means or how, but it’s like he won’t give himself to me fully. He’s better with Little Raf, which is what matters, but I’d really like for him to want me too.”

She grabs my hands, squeezing gently. “I don’t have any advice. But I do know that you’re worthy of wanting and worthy of loving. He’ll see that too.”

I smile at my sister, feeling better about everything.

Loving Rafael is not something I planned. I thought I’d get to know him until he was able to handle being with Little Raf alone. Now, I can’t handle being away from either ofthem. I’ve grown to love Little Raf and I’ve fallen in love with his uncle.

Hazel and I hang out for another hour until she has to go to work. It’s just after noon when I leave her house and I still have no idea what to do from here. I take myself to the movies, then out to eat. It’s not as much fun without Little Raf, but it’s nice to move around without having to juggle a diaper bag.

The next time I look at my watch, it’s three in the afternoon. That’s long enough to be away from home. Raf can bitch about it, but whatever. If it makes him feel better, I’ll stay in his room and watch TV, but I’m bored out of my mind and want to go home.

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