“I’ve learned a lot from Uncle Glenn over the years, so I’ve always tried to keep up on anything new. It made it a little tougher being in my own band though.” I didn’t even want to bring it up but eventually it would be out there. I’d tried a few bands, but none seemed to be a great fit, and I really had no one to blame but myself.
“I keep waiting for him to tell us he’s quitting,” Easy said, surprising me. “He’s smart to hire someone to help Jess. She’s home with all four kids nonstop and I think he really had no clue how hard it was starting to be for her.” Liam’s brows shot up and I tried to control my own reaction.
“I’m glad you noticed but I’m sort of surprised you did,” Liam said.
“The last time I went to their house it was complete chaos. Kids everywhere and the house a big mess. She just can’t do it on herown, but Glenn should have seen it coming. Best thing she did was to make him bring the kids to the house by himself. He’s never done that,” Easy said.
“You never told me that,” Liam said. “Now I feel bad. I wish Jess would have reached out.”
“It wasn’t up to us. Glenn knew she was at her wits end. I think there was more to it than her needing more help.” Easy glanced at me but turned toward Liam.
“She might be tired of him being gone so often. Before we started playing more, he was home nearly every night and only gone one or two nights,” Easy said.
“And now he’s gone more days than he’s home,” Rory said.
“Don’t mention it to him, I don’t want him to think we’re talking shit, but maybe we need to make some changes when he comes back. I don’t know, but I didn’t want you guys to be in the dark.” This time his eyes met mine and I knew what he was saying but I wasn’t going to even consider that I might be playing with them for longer than his arm took to heal.
“My mom was saying recently that they were having trouble. I think you might be right and the time that he’s away the kids are driving her nuts,” I said, mostly because I wanted them to know I wasn’t clueless about what was going on with Glenn and Jess, but it wasn’t my business, and I tried to stay out of any drama.
“We’re all going to speak with him about it once he’s ready to come back. I think it’s good that they’re getting some help. I know he loves Jess and the kids, but it would be a lot for anyone,” Easy said and looked at each of us this time.
I was amazed to hear them all talk about their personal shit here, but then again, they were all together and had been for years. Maybe there was more to this talking shit out thing than I thought there was, but I just wasn’t comfortable saying much in this specific situation. Glenn was a relative and my mother was his sister, so I heard more shit than I needed to, and because he was the baby of the family they were all in his business even if he was close to forty.
“Let’s try Now’s the Time once more before we break for the night,” Rory said, and I’d never been more thankful for someone to break up a conversation in my life.
Liam led us in with his guitar and I joined him at the same time Rory did. It helped so much that I’d heard these songs so many times. This was one of their originals that had changed a little over time but still was basically the same. Easy leaned in close to the microphone and watching him sing was like watching him have sex. He put everything into it even if it was just a practice session. Making me more aware of how many times I’d fucked up the whole band by being stupid and irresponsible. Showing up drunk for practice or not showing up at all. Taking a break while we were playing a gig and not going back to finish the set.God I’m an asshole.I let that anger roll through the drums and played this song like it was a part of me, and maybe it was. The words definitely resonated with me.
Waiting, always waiting
Not sure why but I feel like I might die
Patience eludes me but still I try
Now’s the time!
Going to hold on tight and say the words I keep holding back
Now’s the time, to get real and stop playing games
It really was time. Time for me to stop fucking around and either go for it or stop playing at being a rockstar. Now was the time. Sweat poured off me as I stomped both bass drums and played the stacks like my life depended on it, or I’d found my passion again. That’s when it hit me, after only two practices with these guys, I’d found what I’d lost and was starting to fall in love with music again. I found myself singing along and enjoying the hell out of it. Liam grinned at me and tipped his chin, making me smile back at him and making Easy narrow his eyes at me.
Liam rolled his eyes, and hip checked him while still playing finally breaking the momentary tension, and when Easy grabbed him and kissed him all I could think was how happy I was for him and how much I wanted what they had.
Fourteen
Johnny
Tanner had performed a miracle, he’d found a temporary drummer to get us through the Vegas show, and we’d be practicing with them today. “I know you only have two days to practice together but I’m confident they can handle this,” Tanner said as I drove over to the jam room.
“I hope you’re right. I’d rather not be a complete flop, even if it is at a strip club, Blinding Light won’t ever give us another chance to open for them if this goes to shit,” I said, and he was quiet for a moment.
“She’ll get us through this show, then we’ll need to look for a more permanent member. I’ve had offers for you to play at other shows around Sacramento, but I’ve also been speaking with the manager of Blinding Light to see if we could be their regular warm-up band for this tour season. Now there is no guarantee it’ll happen that’s why I didn’t say anything, but if it does, it could really help you guys,” Tanner said.
“I’m going to put out some feelers with other bands I know and see if there’s anyone who’s available for a permanent position. If we’re going to be playing regularly, I want to be a cohesive group.”
“Keep up the good work. I promise we’ll find someone,” Tanner said. “Oh, did you hear about Blinding Light’s drummer?”
“No, what happened?”