Page 60 of Lost to the Orcs

“Start from the top please.” I take a sip and I’ll have to give it to this ‘Addie’ it reminds me of something. Something I feel I’ve forgotten.

“Right.” He chuckles, a little self depreciating. “I got called to the hospital near the middle of the night, about a gunshot patient in need of surgery.” My hand automatically takes a tour to the one in my chest. He nods. “You. Honestly, I had little to no hope. You’d lost a lot of blood. You were unconscious but something told me you weren’t a lost cause.” His hands are shaking as they wrap around his own cup and takes a sip. “When you woke up, days later, I was so happy. But, then you said your name was Addie. And we both know that’s not the name on file.” I shake my head. No. Of course not. He nods. “Exactly. So I thought blood loss made you delirious. It can happen when too much blood leaves the brain. It could cause all kinds of issues. So we kept you in the hospital.

“You were on surveillance. We were unsure if you would be a danger to yourself or anyone. One day, I was walking by your room when I heard you crying. I was going to ask if you were okay but you started talking. You said, ‘I can’t believe it worked. I’m me, but I’m notme. She accepted.’ I was intrigued. Protocol would have demanded I call in someoneto test your mental acuity but I didn’t.” He shakes his head. “I’m so glad you didn’t say that in front of anyone else. But it was just me. You knew me, you said. Maybe notmebut you knew my person and that I wouldn’t harm you.” He chuckles. “I was enthralled and confused. Intrigued. Who is this ‘Addie’?

“We gave you your phone which you came with and you needed help to navigate it at first. Of course we chalked that up to the blood loss prior and we retaught you. After a week, you said after waking up you were confused, you hadn’t finished changing your name and you forgot.” I frown but nod for him to continue. I know I wasn’t going through a name changing but I know some of my followers have mentioned their own name changes whenever I draw a transitioning character and their new names.

“We released you. Several days later, I was at the park when I saw you gathering plants.” He snorts. “Gathering plants. I never thought I’d see that. When I approached you asking about why you would be doing that, you froze as if confused and then laughed. Saying it was for an art project. I knew you were lying but you also didn’t want me to ‘lock you up’ as one of the nurses had threatened you for insisting you were named Addie.” He raises a hand to indicate his reassurance, “She was dealt with. We can’t have someone working with patients threatening them and making them afraid.” He sighs, “We,” He indicates me and him, “are in a relationship.”

I balk at that and he chuckles. “If I didn’t see in your eyes you aren’t Addie, I would be deeply wounded. But I know you’re not her.” His gazeiswounded though. Because I amnotthis ‘Addie’. Whether she exists or not, this man obviously believes in her and loves her. “Before we got into a relationship, Addie said she needed to tell me all of the truth. Where she came from, and how she got here. She wouldn’t start a relationship with me unless I was aware of all of the facts.” His golden but not honey jewel, eyes lock with mine. “She comes from a world where women and men can go into heat. Where mythic creatures like Orcs exist. Where monsters are men more often than monsters.”

I jerk back like he’d slapped me. My eyes widen with a dawning realization. I gasp as I remember a honey gold gaze looking at me wistfully as we lay next to each other. Late into the night, our body’s wrapped around each other. Wrapped in love.

“She feared someday you would come back and want to stay. That you’d remove her from your body.” A tear falls from my eye. My hand, which was still on my chest raises to my neck where the scar from the fateful day should have started. Down, down, to my hip. But I stop at my belly. A sob escapes my lips as I clutch the fabric there. My baby.

The man, who I still don’t know the name of, stares at me with some kind of understanding. A form of it. An acceptance. Because he believed this Addie. And maybe at one point he doubted it. But this–mehas proven she was right. Either Addie is a multiple personality of mine or Addie is another person. Who is fighting for here. For him. For herself.

“Did you send her back?” He asks me, begs me with his gaze to say I did not.

“I–I don’t know.” My lips tremble as the tears spill unbidden. “I didn’t want to come back. I was–AMso happy there.” I sob. “How do I go back?” My voice cracks. “Jae. U’s. My loves.”

CHAPTER THIRTY: HOME

Jaedason

Ay walk into my home. My body an’ mind exhausted. Somehow, Ay’ve avoided a war. Likely it wouldnae start ‘tilafterthe cold moons but it would ‘ave been terrible either way. Thankfully, Sumira had t’ fill out many papers in order t’ begin ‘he Challenge. They were ‘he only things that saved us from her death. She either was going t’ave me, or she was going t’ start a war.

HerAithír, one o’he many human’s my mate calls ‘chur-ash people’, is a politician through an’ through. We asked for an assembly an’ they provided. We brought Sumira’s remains, an’ all documentation o’ her activities within ‘he mountain. It is ill advised o’ us t’ travel so. But I–we are desolate. We donnae have purpose.

No’ withou’ her.

U’snar is sitting in ‘he chair next t’ ouer bed. His back is hunched, head is bowed, an’ when I round his chair, his eyes are weeping. I place my hand on his back and rub it. Seeing him in so muchpain, wounds me like no other. Although he is not my son. I was twenty when he was born and he was like a son to me after my dam passed; and our father mourned her. He was my everything.

Until Sumira. Sumira had been ouers. Ouer everything. Ay had loved her. Or thought Ay had. Ay might no’ have been much younger than Ay am now, but four years more stupid with far too much free time when Ay noticed her.

Now, Ay know what Ay felt for Sumira is nothing but infatuation. It holds naught a candle t’ her. T’ ouer mate. The one laying, sleeping. Breathing but em’ty as Irf has confirmed; t’ ouer horror. A body without a soul.

Ay sit on ‘he edge o’ ouer nest, against her wee thigh. My fingers caress her cheek an’ Ay pray t’he goddess, t’ Jaeda, t’ anyone who weel hear me;Please. Bring back ouer little lost. Please. Bring her home.

CHAPTER THIRTY ONE: UNEXPECTED GUEST

Jason. That is the name of Addie’s love. The man who is trying with all his might to figure out how to send me back and how to bring Addie to the fore. Our search history is wild. From witch to voodoo rituals. Herbs and tinctures. But nothing has come of it.

Just a big headache.

Jason is heartbroken. He misses Addie. And as he’s said “You’re a delight, but it’s not the same.” I’m just sorry I’ve caused them this heartache.

It is the same for me. Jason is well and good but he’s not–He’s not U’snar. He’s not Jaedason.

I miss Arawn. I miss my baby.

It’s been a month. We’re lost in depression and at a loss of what to do.

When I get up the morning that starts my month back in this world, I find myself vomiting in the toilet. Jason, who has been sleeping in the living room, rushes to the bathroom door, which I’d left open in my haste. “Are you alright?”

I wave him off, assuring him that I am fine. He leaves and I hear the kettle being put on the stove. A migraine is manifesting behind my eyes. I groan, standing up on wobbling legs, battling the nausea. I rinseand wash out my mouth. Brush my teeth in an attempt to get the filmy taste out of my mouth. Finally, I pop some headache medicine.

I’ve been fighting this lethargy, the headaches, the confusion for so long. It just feels natural at this point. God, is this what my life is going to be like from now on?

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