Page 22 of Lost to the Orcs

U’snar nods, his hands in fists. He walks to me and kneels before my seated form. “Sorry Sunkissed.” He caresses my cheek and by the beloved he feels so nice against my skin. Not exactly cold but he’s cooler than me and it feels so lovely. “Do you no’ feel it?” He asks of Jaedason.

Jaedason glares at him. “Yew wish me t’ lie?”

U’snar shakes his head. “I wish for ‘he truth.”

Jaedason sighs. “Ay donnae want a human mate. Ay want a kit for yew. Ay…” He sighs, “Ay wish t’be cared for as Ay care. Complete. Ay wish t’be complete. Again.” The ache in him, I can feel an echo of the same in my own chest. The loneliness. The need to be loved. Unconditional care from another person. His accent is just as heavy as he speaks about his feelings. It seems, when he is heated or passionate, his accent is more prominent. “Bu’ Orc females are ‘he same. Bi’er an’ rage. Ay wish for kindness an’ love. There is my truth. Ay give it t’ ye, U’snar son o’ Jaeda.”

“That is my truth also.” U’snar states. “I wish for kind mate. Sweet Sunkissed mate with butterfly eyes.” I blink at him in surprise as he cups my cheek staring into my features. He smiles. “Yes. That.” Oh, he means how I blink my eyes. I haven’t noticed that their lashes are not as long as my own. “Pretty.” He takes a deep breath. “Perfection.”

I know they mean I’ve never been touched. How this girl survived in this world, I’ll probably never know. But she saved herself for someone who would love her. Someone who wouldn’t control her and breed her to keep her by their side. Like a brood mare.

“What is going to happen?” I ask licking my lips, my eyes trapped by U’snars stare. His honeyed gaze is staring into my soul and drawing it out into his arms.

“Ay must speak with Gorshak an’ Haugen.” Jaedason states, his words smoothing out as he calms.

“What o’ Narod?” U’snar asks, some fuzzy part of my brain remembers that is their brother.

Jaedason shakes his head. “No’ for some time. Ay must teach them how t’ greet ‘he other tribes. We weel be locked an’ hidden for 12 rises o’he sun. Twelve days. Mayhap fifteen.” Jaedason seems like he is overwhelmed with this new hitch in his plans. “So much work.” He huffs a long sigh. “U’snar, you weel help. She weel fare well for thrice more days at most.” U’snar stands and guides me to a pallet I hadn’t noticed before.

“Sleep. Stay. Here.” He sits me down.

It smells a bit musky, like dusty old clothes. I scrunch my nose as I feel the texture of the blanket and grimace. “Why can’t I stay in your bed or Jaedason’s?”

U’snar shakes his head, but Jaedason is the one who explains. “You weel go t’ heat faster. We prevent that with this.” He indicates the pallet. “Sleep. We will finish soon as we can.”

“Take your time.” Because in all honesty, the heat of my body has absolutely dissipated and suddenly it feels like it has drained me of all my energy. I stretch and yawn, laying down in the cot. There isn’t a pillow, but I place my head beneath my arms and nearly immediately fall asleep.

~~~~~

For the next two nights, I wake up off and on. My body running hot then cold. Aroused and needing. I’m in such need that I nearly cry. There is so much pain in my abdomen. Like cramps on fucking crack. Holy fuck!

The men are around but they don’t always approach me. They make me eat at interval's, even when I try to make them leave me alone. Stating that they need to get my intake up before they are unable to feed me anything. I swallow as much food as I can take down. But god damn I feel so full most of the time that it’s hard to take more.

When I’m not eating. I am sleeping. Or my eyes are cracked and watching them when they enter. My eyes are glued to them. To their forms going through the motions. Talking to others. Ordering them. Making concessions. The amount of food they devour is amazing to me. I asked in a whisper soft voice why and Jaedason looked at me, one plate in hand and him ordering someone before him. “Is for your heat. We must store nutrients for you.” His gaze is hooded. Hiding his emotions from me but as he turns away, I notice the hot honey in hiseyes.

I state later after a clenching and panting session, how I feel like it can’t get any worse than this. But U’snar laughed. Rude. And I told him so.

I am proven wrong on the third night. The pain in my abdomen causes me to scream. It’s a howling pain that wraps itself around me in a vice like grip. I’m shattering into a million pieces starting from my abdomen and splintering to the rest of my body. Mother of every god in the stupid miserable world, help me!

I am burning. My body is melting to this pallet. I need water. Something cool against my skin. I’m going to die of a fever. Someone. Anyone.

Panting, I yank the clothes off my body. I whimper, “Not enough. It’s not enough. Please.”

“Sunkissed?” U’snar stumbles out of his room like the hounds of hell were nipping at his heels. Seeing me cowed over myself, I hear him shout his brother’s name. I hear Jaedason curse, barking words in a language I don’t understand. His words thick and strong.

My body starts to ratchet up the heat, my legs tremble beneath me, and my pussy clenches on emptiness as the slick wetness drips down my thighs.

Oh fuck. I touch it and lift it to my face. What in the hell? I’ve never—I cry out as I crash to the floor. Curled in on myself as my body is wracked with shudders. I’m splintering again as my core clenches and unclenches. Want and need warring and consuming one another over and over again. “Jaedason! U’snar!” I cry. It’s a sob wrenched from the depths of my soul. I know deep down they can soothe this ache. I know they can make this all better. They and they alone can cool my skin.

I hear a loud grinding sound and murmured voices before a loud cranking crash is exploding in my ears. I whimper and cover them. The ground is too hard. It’s not cool at all. It’s just grating. I need soft. I need—

My body stands and stumbles. My nose twitching and searching. For what? I know not. But then I smell it. Heaven. Citrus. So strong. The accompanying smell of the dirt and the earth are so strong and fills the core of me with fire. The small little house chimney morphs into a bonfire taller than the trees.

I enter the citrus domain. There. I see it. The nest. Comfort. I feel an urge; a desire and demand deep within me. Clawing its way to the surface. A need to fix it. It doesn’t look right. I sit in it. Doesn’t feel right. I start grabbing things. Anything and everything that is important. Whatever I do not care for gets tossed out. This ugly shirt. Doesn’t belong. This pillow, here. Blankets piled there.

I don’t know who is handing me what. But I toss what I don’t care for and take what I like. Sometimes, it takes them wiping their hands or sweat laced skin on the thing I tossed away for it to join the rest and sometimes I just don’t want it. It feels wrong. Feels ugly. I do not want. I do not need.

I leave the room. It’s incomplete. I walk around; the need, my fire, temporarily doused for this exercise. I take the right, through the dirt and earth room. I grab things and start dragging them to my citrus nest. It is so incomplete and I need it. I want it perfect.

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