Page 13 of Lost to the Orcs

I’m extremely embarrassed the first days after I did that to him. I can’t even fathom the fact that I was brave enough to do it. I don’t even know what came over metodo it. But the worst part about all of it, is just him. He doesn’t sayanythingthe next day. He doesn’t acknowledge it. He doesn’t ask me about it. What I was thinking. It’s like it never happened. But I know it did. Because I’d rolled over with my back to him and finished. I bit the hem of the cape in order to shut my ass up and I climaxed all over my hand just from his smell alone; I know he knew.

But he hasn’t said anything!

I’m inwardly screaming my anguish. I don’t know how to handle myself right now. I can’t even think “what would my mom do?” in this situation because she would definitely not have stood half naked next to a seven-and-a-half-foot Orc with tusks and grey green skin and eyes like honey and the sun had a freakin' baby. They’re a fucking topaz gem dream that makes my heart thump a little too hard in my chest and I don’t know how to fucking handle how amazing he smells!! Wait. No. That’s not what I was thinking about. I was thinking about the reasons why my mother wouldn’t do what I did the other night. Yup. Because that was outrageous. He is outrageous…ly gorgeous. Wait. FUCK. I—

I jerk to a halt. Half an inch from a tree. Oh. My eyes bulging, I back up and give a shaky chuckle. “Sorry, I was lost in thought.” I smile sheepishly at him, one hand tapping my noggin before crossing my arms over my middle in an attempt to hold all my idiocy inside. Hoping he won’t pry. There’s no way I can tell him that thinking he was hot nearly got my face smacked by a tree.

He shakes his head and holds out his hand. I tilt my head to the side and nibble my lip. What is he doing?

He wiggles his fingers at me. “My hand. I weel be sure you weel no’ hit anything. Now, come.” He wiggles them again. It looks like a turtle on its back flailing it’s legs. I try not to giggle or smirk before taking his hand.

Our fingers entwine and he takes me back on the path. “I’m sorry.” I apologize again. I really do feel sorry. I seem to be delaying him getting back to his tribe, all because I’m either crazy or somehow some way from another world. And if I’m not, then I’m crazy, my misgivings are in part for nothing. I don’t remember who I am. What I was doing with that party that was slaughtered. Nor who I am. Because if I’m not me from my world, then who am I?

“No.” He gruffly but firmly iterates. He does not stop walking but I know he is firmly standing on that no. He hums before stopping to look down at me. I’m not tall enough to be under his chin, in fact I come up to where his abs begin. Right under the pecs but just above his diaphragm.Sigh. I could look up into those sunshine eyes any day, all day long. He bends forward, pulling my hand up to his lips and kisses the knuckles. “You are fine. Perfection. Sunkissed. Pretty. Mine. No’ sorry. Beauty. Mate an’ mine.” He punctuates each statement with another kiss.

“Wow.” It’s a sigh. A deep longing that fills my lungs because since my parents died, I don’t remember a single person who wanted me or loved me as deeply.

Yeah, sex was sex. One time fling here we go. Scratching an itch and not even sexually. A vibrator any day can do wonders for the body. But human comfort? Companionship of the flesh? That’s the itch I was trying to scratch.

But having someone absolutely wanting another? They want all of the others’ heart, all their thoughts. They want the others’ eyes directed only at them. I’ve not felt this and with each passing day, Ifeel it towards this Orc and I don’t know how to feel about that. I really, really don’t know how to comprehend that I want something—no,someonethat isn’t human. And that is terrifying.

“Come, pretty mate. If we tarry, I’ll add a week.” His mirth shines like a beacon and I am a moth helplessly in love with the sun.

That is literally how our days are. He is considerate of me. Of my thoughts, my feelings, my views. He gives me rebuttals. He gives me things to think about in turn. But he doesn’t belittle me. He doesn’t make me want for anything. Well, anything that isn’t sexual. Because let’s face it, being around that considerate muscular sexy sun eyed god would make any woman’s panties wetter than beach sand beneath your feet. The smoldering hot look in his eyes when you just happen to glance over at him and he’s justabsorbingthe very essence of you? Yeah.Yeah.

It took a little bit of deliberation that first day for him to let me walk. I didn’t want to be close to him. To stare at his lips and remember what I’d done to them the night before. When he saw that my feet were mostly healed from that slime he placed on it, he had conceded only when I said that I’d tell him when I was tired. In all honesty though, I did get tired pretty quickly.

I’m used to walking maybe a block. 30 minutes tops. Not a whole day. But the male doesn’t seem to tire! How do you not sleep all night and just not tire during the day??

I ask him too. His response? A grin. A wide mischievous grin. “Want to know when I sleep?” I’m not sure about the sexual tension that question brings forth between us but I nod anyways. “I sleep when you do. I lay next t’ you, wrap youer perfect tiny body against me. You sigh an’ cuddle int’ my chest. An’ I sleep. Breathing in ‘he perfume o’ youer skin.”

My jaw hits the floor. He does not. “You do not!” I gasp. Warmth suffuses my cheeks and causes an ache in my lower belly.

His grin widens. “You would know? Even though you sleep?”

“Of course not! But how could—

“Mate an’ mine.” He reminds, pulling me back into him now. “Beloved t’ me. Sunkissed for me. Pretty for me.” With each sentence, he pulls me closer into his arms, until he is practically bowed over me. My head is cradled between his chest and arms. I can hear his beloved heart, beating in fervor. Honesty and need. His musk is surroundingme. Making me need him just as strongly as he needs me. He pulls back and cups my face. “Mine.” The gold shimmers like a thousand lightning bugs and I stare into them like they are the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen.

His. Am I his?

Yesss.I want to be so fucking bad.

I pull out of his arms and he lets me go after a token resistance. The pain in his golden gaze mutes the beauty within. It makes me want to rush into his arms, apologize and give him as much love as I dare. But I don’t. I take a second step back; my hands shaking, demanding I assuage all his pain this instant. Beg him to come into my arms. But I don’t. Because I can’t. Not yet. Not until I get my answers.

So, I say, “I don’t want to add on another week alright? Let’s get going.” Because I need these answers. I need to know what is going on with me. With us. NO. Not us. Not until I know… am I crazy?

~~~~~

We actually make it to the Dream Weaver in a week and a half. Which I stuck my tongue at U’snar for. Three weeks my ass. Which he kindly reminded me that he carried me every day for more than half of the day. But whatever. That’s not the point.

The day before, U’snar informed me that Irf is his nephew. The son of H’nash and grandchild of Jaeda. Irf is gruff and rough around the edges. Irf loves to irk U’snar. Loves to goad him into a verbal fight. His worst transgression is that he locks himself up for god knows how long when his art strikes. Irf like U’snar, shares. Or Shared. H’nash died last season and Irf left the tribe to mourn. H’nash had a mate who died in childbirth. He could not live without her and left to care for her and the babe in the after.

I realize there is quite a lot of people who would not like to live without their children or their mates. Especially when the bond is strong. It’s terrifying. What does that feel like? I think if something happened to U’snar I would be devastated. Like when I lost my parents, but I don’t think I would follow him. Maybe it’s because we are not mated? It’s something to ponder. How much the mating, this bond affects us both.

“Will he help me?” I try to hide the worry in my tone but U’snar catches on quickly.

He arches a brow. “You are with me. He weelhelp just t’ upset me.”

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