Page 81 of Anorthic Anarchy

I was allowed to be sad near her.

At the end of her shift, Cal shows up and hovers near the door, his eyes scanning me as if checking to see if I’ve grown a new limb. Then, the two bid me goodbye and show up in two days with solemn smiles.

Until the third week. Things change.

Max Freidenberg runs in like a Grizzly and throws his hands on his hips. “That’s it. You’re coming outside. Then eating some bacon. Let’s go. Up and at ’em.”

“It’s cold!” I protest, gripping the sheet as he tries to rip it from me.

“It’ll do you good. And spring is almost here. Come on, missy. Ass out of bed.”

I think it will be weird. I know him the least, other than through Livia’s constant complaints about tiny things that annoy her about him. But she needs the extra sleep. So with their son, Adal, strapped to his chest, Max leads us into the woods once I’m dressed appropriately.

“I heard you like to hike out here. Which is great, but I wanted to show you some areas to be wary of. And where you’re going to get the best vantage point for enemies.”

My brow scrunches with confusion. “I don’t have any enemies. Not anymore.”

He stops mid-step and tucks his son’s cap down farther over his ears. “Oh. Yeah, well.” Starting up again, he tosses his voice over his shoulder. “In case you ever do.”

Like a commander, but more like a protective big brother, he encourages me step after step until I’ve made my usual walk. By the time we make it back to the house, I’m ready for the bacon he talked about for the last half mile.

That was a day I held on to as one of the first I could not feel the hole of despair for an entire hour.

But then the night came.

And I fell in again.

I named the pain. Sometimes it was sharp, searing, and so acute my fingers would clutch at my chest to try to dig it out of my heart. That actually was better than the pit.

Black and without escape, the plague that rotted over my living corpse suppressed any ability to see light. I couldn’t even feel Bert’s presence at those times. And the only distraction was hearing the chime of the grandfather clock, knowing I was one more hour closer to my eventual death. Even crying wouldn’t get me out of that abyss of agony.

No, the only reason I ever woke up was because of Vincente’s child inside of me.

“Come on, Bert. We have to do this. You want peanut butter this morning? Good. Because that’s all I can really eat right now.” Conversations with Liberty were the only thing that kept me alive.

“We’re going to make it.” Looking at my reflection, haggard and wan, I decide then and there to survive. Because that is what the love of my life wanted for me. For us. “We have to press on.”

I put my collar back on and decide it and my wedding band will never come off again. I’ll always be Vincente’s. Even if he’s no longer with me.

Epilogue

Astrid

“You have everything you need?”

Rolling my eyes at Sev, my lips tighten to prevent a smile. “Yes.”

“Snacks for the plane?”

“Yes! I told you. Plus, they’ll give me food if I ask for it.”

His mouth forms a solid line. “And you still won’t let me accompany you?”

“No.”

“What about one of us?” Livia interrupts and places her hand on my shoulder.

Facing the women, I tilt my head and give them a broad grin. Pointing first to Veracity, I wag my finger back and forth. “First of all,shejust had a baby.” Then I point to Ari. “Andshe’sabout to. Andyouhave your infant boy at home. So no. Go and rule the ruins of this city like the forces of sanity you are.”

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