Page 59 of White Hole

“No, I’m good,” I said quickly, so we could get back to what George had been saying.

George shook his head at the waiter, who left us. He took a big bite of his fish and chewed slowly. I waited. George swallowed. Just as I was about to give up and say something, he said, “So, you said your dad was an asshole. What was up with him?”

My shoulders dropped. Was he trying to change the subject? Maybe he had had enough emotionally tense conversations. I appeased him by explaining about my father’s insistence that I always be the best, feeling like he’d wanted a son instead of me.

“And after the accident, he was so frustrated with me not being able to do as much as I once did… He told me once that I wasn’t eventryingto get better. That’s when I knew I’d never be good enough. No matter what. It was then that I decided to do formeand not for him.”

I told George about Bethany being the final straw that broke my father and me apart. Each child he had with her, especially his son, made me realize how we were never truly a family.

“I never had one, either. I mean, I have my brothers, but they were more of something that was my responsibility.”

“Whyyourresponsibility, though?”

“Who else would care for them? My father wouldn’t. My mother couldn’t. It was just us.”

“And now me.”

George peered at me with sadness in his eyes. He held his arm out to the side of the table. I put my hand in his. He pulled me up from my seat and into his lap. Grabbing my plate from across the table, he loaded up a fork and began to feed me. It wasn’t bad since we were the only crazy people that chose to eat outside. Otherwise, I’d be too embarrassed to sit on him if others were watching.

“It’s good, right?”

Snickering, I replied with my mouth full, “Yes, it’s good. You don’t have to feed me.”

He put his face into my hair and quietly said, “I want to.” His gesture made me relax further into him. I let him feed me, and he seemed to enjoy taking care of me.

Once we finished dinner and paid, George said the surprise portion of the evening was about to begin. The night had set in and when I looked up at the sky, I gasped at the wonders of the stars. In the dark of the countryside, there were no disruptive artificial lights. Every twinkle from millions of miles away was visible.

George drove us to a gravel drive that turned into a dirt road. He slowed the truck, making a sudden left-hand turn into an overgrown field, running over small bumps of earth. I clung to the grab bar with one hand and my seatbelt with the other while George laughed. His wide grin made me think of how he must have looked as a little boy playing outside in the mud.

He pulled up next to the shadow of an old barn, almost collapsed from its age. Jumping out, he quickly made his way to the bed of the truck and pulled off the cover. Underneath was an air mattress already blown up. An extra-large sleeping bag was lying on top.

“Whoa! Do you bring a lot of girls out here?”

“Huh?” he asked.

“You just happen to have a bed in the back of your truck?”

He jumped onto the tailgate and held his arms out to lift me up beside him. “I like to sleep out here sometimes.” Placing me back on the air mattress, he crawled up next to me. “Alone.”

“You’re not alone now,” I said as I laid back on the built-in pillows.

George lowered himself next to me and rolled to his side. Cupping my face with a large hand, he gently pressed his lips to mine. “No, not now.” Lying on his back, he watched the show. “Sins, there’s a meteor shower tonight. It requires silence to fully appreciate. You think you can handle that?”

I slapped his chest with my hand, and he grabbed it. “Yes, motormouth. I can.”

We lay together on our backs as the show began. Our hands were joined, and I was warmed by the heat of his enormous body. The light show was something I’d never experienced. Sharp lasers shot quickly through the sky, one after the other, in a dazzling display. My eyes couldn’t understand that the beauty they were seeing was real. Each flash of white made my heart race with excitement.

“Kinsley,” George said.

“Hmm?”

“Kinsley, I need to tell you something.”

“Shh! I thought you said we have to be quiet.”

George was silent. I turned my head to see what he wanted.

“Kinsley,” he said.

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