Page 74 of Liam

I threw back my second shot.

After dinner, I went to my room and checked my social media accounts, bottle in hand. The photo Ethan had taken at the beach with me in my wetsuit hadn't been deleted by the platform for going against community guidelines and had over 1200 likes. The comments were numerous.

There were the usual followers.

diggerdog24:OMG! I'm dying!

cameoslut156:I want to know where this beach is!

sausagemonster67: Those dimples! Want to stick my tongue in them!

Then there were my followers who liked to tear me down. I poured myself another shot before I allowed myself to continue reading the comments.

juggerwatcher11:Aren't you too old to be surfing?

darkhorse189: When did your ass get so fat?

porcelindick89:Didyour gimpy boyfriend get some sense and dump you?

That last one really hurt. Not because they were right about Jamal ditching me but because they had called Jamal gimpy. The man I loved was the most capable person I'd ever met.

I started typing.

@porcelindick89, you have no idea what you're talking about. He's not gimpy. He is the most amazing human being ever. You could never in a million years deserve someone as good as him.

porcelindick89:Then it makes sense why he rolled away from you.

I laid my head back on my pillow and slipped back into my negative thinking.

Maybe Noah was biased in his opinion of me.

The truth was, I wasn't the kind of guy men fell in love with. And even if one did … I'd blow it up. Become complacent. End up leaning back into my obsession. Ignoring my partner in preference to my phone. Annoy the hell out of him until he walked out on me.

I had no idea how to contribute to a healthy relationship. I'd seen so few of them. Watching Noah and Brody, I'd seen the give and take it took for them to maintain what they had together.

I closed my eyes. I'd cut way back on my posting since I started with Jamal.

Maybe I could change.

No.

It was imprinted on my soul now—my shallowness. My life was self-absorbed, and I didn't want Jamal to be sucked into that emptiness with me.

I would not attempt to change his mind.

I needed to protect him—from me.

I loved him too much to do anything else.

Chapter Sixteen | Jamal

I remained at the doorway to the weight room, watching as Liam worked with the youth. He was so good with them. So supportive and capable. My heart ached for him.

I reminded myself I ended what we had to keep Liam from being hurt. I retreated and rolled to my office. I was finishing coding some invoices when Liam appeared at my door.

The devastated muscle in my chest threw itself into overdrive. I wanted to go to him. Run my fingers through his abundant sexy hair and caress my lips onto his.

Liam released a shaky exhalation. "Can we be friends?" Time passed. He rubbed the back of his neck with one hand. He was anxious. I couldn't stand to disappoint him any further.

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