Page 38 of Liam

It was a concern that I'd been thinking of addressing.

"Anyone else?" Grant asked.

I raised my hand. "I have some intimacy concerns. I've met someone and I think we're headed that way. The last time I was intimate was with my partner of many years soon after my accident. It didn't go well but that was because we had memories of what it used to be like."

"Is this person disabled?" Grant asked.

"No. Far from it."

"You're afraid you'll turn him off?" Warren asked.

"That is definitely a concern."

"Has he shown that the paralysis is an issue?" Lorraine asked.

"I don't feel like he's treated me differently than he would anyone able-bodied."

"Do you trust him?" Warren asked.

"I'm headed that way. I just don't know what to expect."

I looked around the gathered crowd. Maybe this was too personal. But I'd known most of these people for years. Intimacy was not a new concern among us.

"I'm a top," I said. "I think he might be too."

"That's a whole other issue," Lorraine replied. "You're going to need to work that out in bed. Or maybe have a conversation beforehand … about all of it. What you can do and what you can't."

Lorraine was right but when was I going to drop that bundle of information? Get ahead of it or wait until we were about to have sex. Either way, the topic was going to be difficult to tackle.

"Thanks, everyone," I said as I looked down at my hands folded in my lap.

The meeting passed with the usual and a particularly lively conversation about rude people on the bus who wouldn't give up their seats or move sufficiently to accommodate wheelchairs and scooters. I was lucky I could drive a car. Public transport sounded like a nightmare.

We were breaking up when Grant approached me.

"I have some pamphlets about intimacy," he said and grabbed a folded piece of pink paper from the table covered in pamphlets. He handed it to me. "Maybe this will help."

I exhaled, frustrated. I knew the pamphlet wouldn't include anything to do with gay sex. I couldn't even find anything on the internet. Richard and I had figured out the mechanics of what worked to give me the ability to penetrate him. It had been an awkward experience.

I thanked Grant, rolled out of the building, and got myself into my car. Liam was going to need to be extremely patient with me. We needed to have a conversation before anything happened between us. He could decide at that point if he wanted to move forward with me.

Sex was a big deal in his world.

Would I be enough for him?

I picked up and set down my phone on my bed multiple times before I worked up the nerve to phone Liam. I wasn't prepared to have the sex talk but there were other things on my mind.

He answered after three rings.

"Jamal … hey. I was just thinking about you." Shivers ran up my spine. His voice sounded smooth and sultry. Whatever thoughts he'd been having … he'd been enjoying them.

"Me too … that's why I called." Obviously. God, I sounded like an idiot. "I thought we should talk about what happened in my bedroom Monday night."

Liam emitted what sounded like a purr. "Yeah, it's been on my mind."

How did I dive into this? I adjusted the pillow behind my back and leaned against it. "Was it all right what I did? Asking you to lift me. Did I push when I shouldn't have?"

"No, it was perfect. Unexpected … but perfect. Full disclosure, though. I'd made a promise to myself to stay in the friend zone with you. I wasn't planning on breaking that."

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