Page 15 of Substitute for Love

Avery stroked Mom’s cheek, wiping away a tear. “I should never have left.”

Mom closed her eyes and shook her head. “You have your own life to live. I can’t get in the way of that.” She opened her eyes and held Avery’s hands.

Still, Avery regretted not being there for Mom the years she was in Flagstaff. Sure, she visited as much as she could, but it wasn’t the same. If she was being honest, Avery blamed herselffor Mom’s work accident and the surgery that made her foot even worse.

After Avery cleaned up dinner and helped Mom into bed, she practically fell into her own bed, mentally and physically exhausted. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. While Avery knew it wouldn’t be easy coming back to Phoenix, she didn’t realize how overwhelming taking care of Mom and substitute teaching would be. Could she handle the demands of being in the classroom long-term? On her feet all day and thinking on her feet were equally challenging.

Of course, Avery was happy to help Mom, as long as it took for her to heal, though ideally Mom should have had a spouse to do that. Her dad had left around the time Marshall and Claire moved to town and into Avery’s life. Avery didn’t realize it at the time, but she was so vulnerable, she was aching for someone else to come into her life and sweep her off her feet. Marshall did that. Sort of. Actually, whatever he didn’t do, Avery filled in the rest with fantasy or doing it herself. He asked her out here and there, but then she did a lot of the work to make the relationship actually work.

When he told her he was heading off to college at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, she panicked. No, they hadn’t been officially boyfriend-girlfriend yet, but they could be. If they were together. She cringed at the memory off following him to NAU.

Deep down, she knew she had followed Marshall because her father had left. It wasn’t until recently that Avery understood she had stayed with him for so long to avoid repeating her father’s mistakes. But eventually, staying no longer made sense.

The breakup still weighed heavily on her mind. She knew letting him go was for the best, but part of her still wondered if maybe things would have gotten better.No, Avery. Hewasn’t nice to you.Avery was so confused. Maybe she only missed being in a relationship. Maybe she felt like she had to try because he was Claire’s brother. She saw how unhappy her parents had been together, but Mom wasn’t doing so great without Dad, either. She wanted a storybook romance, but so far it seemed like adult relationships were not what she expected. She wanted to be happy, but there was an emptiness to starting over.

Her phone sounded a muffled ring. Where was it? After searching, she dug it out of her purse. A few texts from Claire, plus a notification on the Substitute Assignments app.

A new sub job available for the Desert Scorpion High School choir. She smiled. Gosh, she had loved choir in high school. Not that she was a great singer or anything. It was one of those classes everyone knew was an easy A. All you had to do was show up. And mess around.

Marshall had been in her choir class. That was the beginning of them flirting and dating off and on through high school. Flirting and dating had been fun in those early days. But their actual relationship was sonotfun. He didn’t listen or appreciate her. Her old, hopeful self slowly morphed into a disillusioned woman with a dim outlook.

She tried to shake off the memories. If she was going to get some sleep, she didn’t want her mind reeling all night long.

The choir job continued to stare her in the face on the Substitute App. If she was going to move forward, she needed to not let the past slow her down.Get Marshall’s voice out of your head.Subbing in choir would probably be chaotic, which scared her a little. What would she need to do? Have the kids sing songs, right? She could give it a try. Why not?

For a second she hesitated. What if Gabe subbed tomorrow too? He probably would. As Mr. Fletcher had said, Gabe was the “eternal sub.” But she would do everything in her power to avoidseeing him all day. Couldn’t let him be a hero two days in a row. If she was going to do this, she was going to take charge and do it on her own.

But the more she thought about it, maybe having Gabe’s help wasn’t the worst thing? Her first day hadn’t been bad. Despite a few mishaps, the day played out better than Avery had anticipated. As the “eternal sub,” Gabe knew a thing or two. She needed allies, if anything.

Avery recognized she was jaded. And that wasn’t Gabe’s fault. He was a nice guy. Sure, she’d be guarded with him—with any man really. But she decided if she was going to be a substitute teacher, she might as well have fun. And Gabe certainly could be fun.

She clicked “accept” on the Sub App and went to sleep.

Chapter 5: Gabe

Monday August 25, 3:45 PM

Gabe’s phone vibrated as he sat in his truck in front of the grocery store.

A text from his ex? What did she want? He hadn’t heard from her since things ended a few weeks ago. That fateful day when Gabe had come by for a surprise visit with the idea to go up to Sedona for the weekend, something he believed was super serious. But he was ready to be serious—or so he thought. Her, not so much. He walked into see her with another guy, saying “Gabe? Oh he’s just a summer fling” as she wrapped her arms around the guy and kissed him.

Gabe had stopped in his tracks. The words stung like a scorpion. Gabe was almost thirty. Fling wasn’t really in his vocabulary anymore. He had thought their relationship was real. Going somewhere. Her nonchalant view of their relationship confirmed Gabe couldn’t read any woman’s signals. He had been so crushed, so embarrassed, he had sprinted out the door and never returned.

Gabe was still bitter about how everything ended. Mad at her. Mad at himself. But he was too curious not to at least read her text.

EX: Didn’t you say you were a substitute teacher during the school year? Where?

Why did she want to know? His life was no longer any of her business. He ignored the text and slipped his phone in his pocket and headed into the grocery store. The fridge at hisapartment was getting dangerously empty. Gabe wandered the aisles, not really sure what he was looking for.

Until he saw a figure from far away. Long dark hair, athletic figure, and tall shoes, walking with purpose. It was Avery, in the pasta aisle. Pasta did sound good.

Another notification on his phone. Dang it, his exagain. Why? He wasn’t going to fall for whatever she was trying to do.

Avery moved to another aisle. Gabe sighed. Seriously, what was he doing watching this woman he had only met this morning? He had promised himself he’d never let his heart get broken again.

Besides his last relationship, there had been practically a girl in every city he had lived. Being an Air Force kid, there had been plenty. Senior year, Lexi in drama club literally dumped him on stage, inserting her own words in between the lines of the play. Paige, the fellow archeology major, basically flirted and kissed her way into copying off his work. Cynthia at the museum loved it when he took her to fancy dinners, but then ghosted him and told their co-worker to give him the message that she “wasn’t looking for anything serious right now.”

What was wrong with him? Gabe was too friendly. He liked people. He couldn’t help it. Class clown. Theater kid. Air Force brat who never got to have friends, or girlfriends, for long before they moved again.

---