Page 12 of The Reign of Blood

The steaming hot water pounds down on me from the shower, washing away the lingering pain and heartache as my chest refuses to ease. Tilting my head back, I embrace the droplets, giving myself a moment to let the tears mingle with the water so the truth of my pain goes unnoticed.

I’m accustomed to hiding my emotions like this. My penchant for being ruthless, brutal, and unwavering is harder to cling to than I care to admit. Sometimes, my deeper emotions get the better of me, and I refuse to share them with the world.

They’re for me and me alone.

I don’t think it helps that last night was such chaos, and the nightmare on top of all that only cripples the horrors that I bury deep inside. They haunt me at night when my barriers are weakened, and my feelings always end up visible through the cracks. Otherwise, they’re tucked away in the far corners of my mind where I prefer them to be.

Counting down from ten, I let it all out.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

Muted screams.

Seven.

Six.

Silent sobs.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

Pent-up anger that will forever fuel me.

One.

I lean back, wipe the water away from my face once more, and focus on washing my hair. It’s done with now. I don’t have any more time to waste on it. Festering in the dismay will only distract me, and I think I’ve allowed that to happen far too much since arriving here.

Rinsing out my hair, I turn my attention to my body and run through the mundane task of cleaning away the rest of the grime that still clings to me.

It’s Saturday. I have the whole weekend to survive now without any classes to distract me, and I don’t know how I’m going to make it through. I know I need to process everything that happened yesterday, especially since I flopped on my bed last night and effectively passed out. I need to analyze it all, whether I like it or not, but I can’t do it here.

Switching off the water, I swiftly dry myself off and get dressed. A plain black t-shirt and matching yoga pants. Blacker than black to match my mood and my heart.

The hallway is empty when I step out and shuffle down to my room, leaning back against the door as I close it. My bed terrorizes me, a reminder of the state I woke up in earlier. I need to avoid it at all costs. The desk doesn’t look much more inviting either.

I sigh, knowing what I need to do. As much as these four walls are the safest place for me right now, I can’t stay coopedup. That only makes things worse. Using my magic, I connect with the air around me and effortlessly dry my hair. It loops into a braid, pinned to my head before a few loose tendrils frame my face.

Despite my distress, the warmth that travels through my veins makes me smile—just a little. When I first used magic on campus, I channeled the earth, making everyone believe I was an earth fae. Fear constricted my throat and left me tangled in the lie, so I couldn’t bring myself to dare use any of my other abilities.

Until last night.

Raiden. I can still see him sailing across the room with surprise etched into his features before he berated me.

People know. They know my bloodline, my true origin, and I don’t know how long my secret will last, so there’s no point worrying over small things now. Braiding my hair by hand was becoming a task, so I’ll take this small favor. Not only is this easier, but my magic vibrates inside of me, relieved to be let out.

With that in mind, I roll my shoulders back and shake off the worry that continues to cling to me before I head for the door. I need to run, I need the fresh air, and I need to think.

Swinging my bedroom door open, I startle when something falls from the handle. My defenses rise, my heart hammering in my chest, but it’s all for nothing when I see what it is.

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