Page 54 of Open Season

“Not yet. I only got to dance three times.” She turned her head away from the mouthpiece and said, as if she were talking to someone else in the room, “I won’t be long. Y’all get started without me.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I didn’t mean to interrupt you while you have company,” Todd said instantly. “I’ll call back later.”

“Oh, no, it’s okay,” Daisy said, feeling guilty about her little deception but definitely not wanting to talk on the telephone when she could be making love.

“Enjoy your company,” he said gently. “Bye.”

“Bye,” she echoed, and fumbled the receiver back into place.

“Pretending to have company,” Jack chided, propping himself on his elbows so he could look down at her. “Slick.”

“I do have company. You.”

“But you definitely don’t want me to get started without you.”

“Definitely not.”

“So someone else is in on your husband-hunting scheme. Who is it?”

“Todd Lawrence,” she said, stroking her hands over his arms and shoulders. “He helped me with my hair and makeup and clothes.”

Jack lifted his eyebrows. “Todd.”

If she wasn’t mistaken, there was the slightest hint of jealousy in his tone. Daisy was thrilled, but at the same time she hastened to say, “Oh, he’s gay.”

“No he isn’t,” Jack said, startling her.

She blinked. “Of course he is.”

“If it’s the Todd Lawrence I know, lives in that big Victorian and owns an antiques store in Huntsville, he isn’t gay.”

“That’s Todd,” Daisy said, frowning. “But he’s definitely gay.”

“He’s definitely not.”

“How would you know?”

“Trust me. I know. And I don’t care if he did pass the puce test”

“He’s great at shopping,” she said, defending her position.

“Hell, I’m great at shopping, too, so long as you’re shopping for a car or a handgun, something like that.”

“He’s great at shopping for clothes. And he knows how to accessorize,” she finished triumphantly.

“You’ve got me there,” he admitted. “But he isn’t gay”

“Yes, he is! What makes you think he isn’t?”

Jack shrugged. “I saw him with a woman.”

She was momentarily flabbergasted; then the explanation occurred to her. “He was probably going shopping with her. I’m a woman, and he spent the entire day with me.”

“He had his tongue down her throat.”

Her mouth fell open. “But—but why would he pretend to be gay if he isn’t?”

“Beats me. He can pretend to be from Mars if he wants.”

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