Page 35 of The Woman Left Behind

She wanted to reach out and touch him, but despite what had just happened between them, she felt constrained. Their make-out session hadn’t changed anything. He was still the leader of the team, and he’d do whatever was necessary for their operational stability because their very lives depended on it. Her job was to safeguard them as much as possible, to provide an extra set of eyes looking for trouble or gathering information without exposing them to unnecessary danger.

If she were in an arguing frame of mind, she’d yell at him that the guys wouldn’t mind at all if she and Levi began a relationship, but she’d be lying. Itwouldmake a difference. The others would subconsciously begin looking for signs of favoritism, which would foster resentment and a lack of trust. Any argument between her and Levi would necessarily cause tension among the others. That was just how team dynamics worked; a disagreement between any two members was one thing, but throw sex into the mixture and it became combustible.

She turned her head and stared at the sky as grimly as he was, and for the same reason. As things stood, she had two choices: she could quit training and have Levi—for how long was up for debate—or she could stay on the team and deal with the bitter truth that they couldn’t be together.

She. Couldn’t. Quit. Doing so would betray everything she was, every sense of self. Maybe she drove herself past what a sane person would do, but didn’t the guys also do that? Being who they were, doing what they did, required more of them than, say, a regular nine-to-five job.

She had been happy with that nine-to-five job, but nowthiswas her reality, and she wouldn’t, couldn’t, turn her back on it.

She rolled to her knees and picked up her goggles. Her clothes were wet all along her back, and on her right side. Her elbows and knees had mud on them, evidently from when they’d landed and skidded along the ground. Her forehead was beginning to sting, and she suspected there was a scrape there. Bits of weed clung to her braid, which was no longer stuffed down the back of her shirt. Fingering her face, she found some dirt and debris and wiped it off as best she could.

Silently Levi got to his feet and began gathering in the parachute, pulling it the rest of the way to him. She picked up his goggles, and the glove he’d discarded. “Here,” she said and tossed the glove to him. He released the parachute with his right hand and fielded the glove one-handed, pulled it back on.

The pickup rolled to a stop on the shoulder of the road, about a hundred yards away. Jina began trudging toward it, gearing herself up to do this one more time—and one more time after that, if necessary.

Whatever it took.

Eleven

She was as white as the clichéd sheet.

Levi had to stop himself from picking her up and lifting her into the plane. She looked so damnlittleand dispirited, not that she truly was either of those things, but his protective instinct was kicking in harder than ever. He’d kissed her, he’d held her under him and felt the slenderness of her bones, he’d made her come; his dick and balls and brain, and hell, yeah, he realized his brain was third on that list, were all joined in a savage fight because two of them were insisting she was nowhisand his fuck-ass stupid brain was telling them they couldn’t have her. His sense of frustration was so great he wanted to go all Hulk and pick up the damn plane and throw it.

At the same time—God, it had been good, even though his balls were aching. The taste of her, her breath on his face, the way she caught on fire and responded with everything in her, no holding back, no games, just Jina-Babe as honest and straightforward as ever. At last he’d gotten his hands on her, on those sweet little breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra. He’d almost come in his pants when he’d felt nothing but smooth skin and tight nipples. If he ever got that far again, he swore to God nothing would stop him, next time he’d get her naked and get inside her, and to hell with the consequences.

Which meant he didn’t dare take that risk again, not as long as she was part of the team.

Fuck!

As soon as Boom saw her he shot a concerned look at Levi as they climbed aboard the Twin Otter for the third time. Levi knew how he felt. As bad as she’d reacted the first time, at least she hadn’t done anything worse than faint. An unconscious Babe was hell and gone better than a Babe who was fighting him as hard as she could. He’d been on the point of knocking her out so he could safely deploy the parachute and get them both down alive, but at almost the last second she’d gone limp, too tired to fight anymore, and he’d been able to get them into the proper attitude and pop the chute.

“Hey!” she said to Boom, catching the look and scowling at him. “At least I stayed conscious this time.” Her voice was raw from screaming, not much more audible than if she’d had laryngitis. She looked pretty bad. She had dirt smeared on her face, her clothes were wet and muddy, and her body language screameddispirited,which was so unlike her Levi wanted to hold her on his lap and comfort her, the last damn thing she needed.

Boom scratched his jaw. “I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” he replied.

“I know.” Wearily she sank onto the bench. “I could have killed both of us.”

The plane started moving and Levi called out for Air Bud to wait a minute; no questions asked, Bud simply eased back and the plane stopped rolling. Boom sat down on one side of Babe and Levi took the other side, both of them dwarfing her. She had her head down and she looked even smaller than usual, as if she was trying to draw into herself.

Levi started to take her hand, lace her fingers with his, and caught himself to change the gesture to a backhanded tap to her forearm. “Babe, you can do this. You know how. Boom’s taught you everything you need to know, just trust him and your training. You know how to steer, you know how to land, and if there are any malfunctions you know how to handle them.”

She gave a tiny nod, her head still down.

A big, primal part of him wanted her to say she couldn’t do it. Or he could pull the plug himself, right now; likely any of the other team leaders would have as soon as they were on the ground after the disaster of that last jump. Boom would back him if he did. But she had tackled everything else with so much stubbornness and determination that he knew how she’d feel if she failed at this, knew how devastated she’d be. She deserved another chance.

“All right,” he said, making a swift decision. “This next jump, you’re wearing the parachute.” Boom looked at him over the top of Babe’s head and gave a brief nod.

Her head snapped up and she stared at him with huge, rounded eyes, white showing all around the irises. Her lips were bloodless.

“Boom and I will jump with you,” he said. “We’ll hold on to you, but you’re the one who’ll have to deploy the chute and steer it to the LZ.” The way it worked, he and Boom would also have chutes and they would hold on to her until her chute deployed, then they’d release her and once at a safe distance pull their own cords. He didn’t think she was grasping all the details, though, because she looked panicked.

“What if I kill us all?” she asked, sounding like a terrified frog.

He shrugged. “You’ll be dead, too. At least you’ll escape prosecution.” Coddling wouldn’t do, not now. Let her think she was responsible for all three of them making it down safely.

Boom snorted, called to Bud to let it roll; the brakes released, and they started down the runway.

Levi and Boom were moving around, getting things ready. Jina concentrated on breathing, inhaling to the count of four, holding for seven, exhaling to eight counts. If she could control her breathing, maybe she could control something else. The results on breathing were mixed. She felt as if she was gasping for air, her lungs functioning in jerks and starts, and she never made it to the holding for seven, much less exhaling for eight.

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