Page 79 of Blood Caged

I pull back just enough to look at her, taking in her flushed cheeks and swollen lips. Part of me still can’t believe this is happening. That she wants me as much as I want her. Any remaining doubts vanish as she presses her body against mine. I lose myself in the taste of her, the feel of her skin under my hands.

But it doesn’t last. How could it?

I freeze as Mia suddenly stiffens in my arms. She pushes against my chest, breaking our kiss. The loss of contact is like a slap to the face, shocking me back to reality.

“Wait,” she gasps, her voice trembling. “We can’t… I can’t do this.”

I pull back, watching as a myriad of emotions flit across her face. Desire gives way to confusion, then horror. She scrambles away from me, clambering off the bed.

“Mia,” I start, reaching for her, but she flinches away.

“No!” she says sharply. “Don’t touch me.”

The pain in her voice cuts through me. I watch helplessly as she backs away. Her hands shake as she rakes them through her hair, tugging as if trying to pull it out from the roots.

“What am I doing?” she mutters, more to herself than to me. “How could I…after everything…?” She begins to pace, muttering angrily beneath her breath.

Suddenly, she whirls on me, her eyes blazing with renewed anger. “Sabine and Jemma,” she spits out. “They’re dead because of you. Because of what you are.”

My mouth opens and then closes. I desperately want to explain things to her. But I can’t. The words stick in my throat, held back by duty and the blood oath that binds me.

“And here I am, what? Making out with their executioner?” Mia continues, her voice rising with each word. “What kind of person does that make me?”

I stand slowly, keeping my distance. “Mia, it’s not that simple—”

“Isn’t it?” she interrupts. “You’re a vampire. I’m a witch. We’re enemies. This…whatever just happened…it can’t happen again.”

“You’re right,” I say because she is. This is insanity. A complication in an already convoluted game that I don’t know the rules of. I stand, straightening my clothes. My shirt is unbuttoned and pulled free of my pants. When I catch her staring, she averts her eyes, her cheeks coloring.

I watch as Mia turns away, her body language screaming conflict and regret. The reality of what we’ve just done crashes over me.

What the fuck were you thinking?

This can’t happen. It shouldn’t happen. And yet…

“Mia,” I start, but she holds up a hand, silencing me.

“Don’t,” she says hoarsely. “Just…don’t say anything.”

I can see the turmoil in her eyes as she glances back at me. I know she’s thinking about Sabine and Jemma, about what she believes happened to them. The guilt sits like a lead weight on my chest.

“This was a mistake,” Mia says, wrapping her arms around herself. “We can’t… I can’t do this.”

I nod, even though every fiber of my being wants to argue, to pull her back into my arms. “You’re right,” I force myself to say. “It can’t happen again.”

We stand there, the air between us so taut with tension that I feel like I could touch it. I want to tell her the truth about her friends, about why I’m really here, about everything. But I can’t.

As Mia moves toward the bathroom, likely seeking an escape from this awkward moment, I’m left alone with my thoughts.

What have I done?

This complication could jeopardize everything – my position, the mission, Mia’s safety. And for what? A moment of weakness?

Frustration and desire war within me. How am I supposed to continue guarding her after this? How can I maintain my duty when all I want is…

What? What is it that I want?

It doesn’t matter. Because whatever it is, I can’t have it.

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