Page 70 of The Gamma's Second Chance

“I enjoy having a routine.” My jaw ticks as my body tenses. “I need a routine.”

“I know,” he says. “But you need to take breaks, too.”

I swallow and give him a subtle shrug. “I’ve never felt the desire to. Not until recently.”

His face lights up with a knowing smile. “Do you love her?”

I blink at him, and my hands press into the smooth countertop, soaking in the cool temperature of the surface. My fingers flex, and my heart skips a beat as my breath catches in my throat, and I shake my head. “I don’t know anything about her. Not really.”

He crosses his arms and one ankle over the other, leaning back more with his head cocked to the side and an eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?”

I rub the back of my neck, blow out a breath, and count to ten, pacing in front of the counter towards the sink and back in the other direction as I speak. “We did everything backwards. We gave into our physical attraction before getting to know each other.”

“Is that really a bad thing?” he asks.

“With Rachel, we spent months talking before we were intimate with each other. And with Kimberly—”

Wesley scoffs. “You’re not seriously comparing Cassandra to Rachel and Kimberly?”

“I’m not comparing. I’m just pointing out—”

“You’re trying to be logical instead of following your instincts,” he says, cutting me off.

“I followed my instincts with Kimberly,” I remind him.

He shakes his head. “No. You followed the mate bond with Kimberly. There is no bond with Cassandra.”

I wrinkle my nose and finally stop my pacing as I whip my head to stare at him. “If there was a bond with her, I’d be constantly questioning if any of it was real or if it was all because of the bond.”

“I know. You want her because you want her.”

My words and his reply repeat in my head. The confession left my mouth without me even thinking about it, but I’ve never said anything more true. With Kimberly, it was all about the mate bond. I savored it and craved it so much I didn’t recognize the signs that she didn’t actually want me until it was too late. Her and her selfishness tarnished the bond—what should be the most beautiful element of being a werewolf—for me.

And I don’t know if my feelings towards it can ever be repaired or if I even want them to be.

“Was that how it was for you? With Haven?” I ask, crossing my arms and steering our conversation away from my severed mate bond.

His eyebrow quirks up, and confusion flashes across his face. “I have a bond with her.”

“I mean in the beginning. Before you knew she was your mate.”

“You saw how I reacted when I found her standing there on the shore of the lake.” He chuckles as he reminisces. “Shit, you were the one to talk sense into me the next day when she stood me up and kicked me out of her apartment.”

“But—”

“I think,” he says, raising his volume to continue speaking over my protestations, lifting his hand to silence me. “I think you’re asking me to answer the question I asked you for you, when you’re the only one who can answer that for yourself. Do you love her?”

“Wes…” I rub my temples with the thumb and middle finger of one hand, and lean against the counter again, my other handclenched around the corner. “She’s leaving in a few months. After your pup is born, and Haven’s aura goes back to normal.”

“She doesn’t have to leave,” he points out.

I lower my hand and rest it on my jaw. “You mean—”

“Ask her to be your chosen mate? Yes.”

He smiles, a smug expression I swear he stole from Sebastian, and I groan. “I told you, I barely know her.”

“Nolan.”

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