Page 230 of The Alpha's Pen Pal

My eyes grew wide at her words, and I stared at her. My mouth opened and closed as I grasped at the thoughts racing through my mind to verbalize my reaction to her gift, but I had nothing. No words.

“I-what?”

“You would be forever this age. Just as I am, just as all the gods and goddesses are. You would be immortal and ageless, just as we are.”

“And Wesley? My mate? Our children, when we have them? What about them?” Selene cocked her head to the side, her brows raised. “Would you give them this same lifespan? This immortality?”

“I-I can only grant it to you,” she murmured. “That was what Zeus allowed.”

“So I would outlive my mate? And our children? And their children?” I asked, and she nodded. “You really don’t know me or understand me, do you?” I muttered, shaking my head. “All my life, all I’ve ever wanted is a family. I’ve wanted a place I could call home, call my own. I’ve wanted someone who would love me and accept me into their life without reservations. Why would I choose immortality to spend an eternity with you over growing old and having alifewith my mate and our family?!”

“You would have that. Here. With me,” she said.

“But I don’t want that with you. I don’t want to spend forever here with the woman who didn’t fight for me, who only had me because she felt she needed to fulfill a promise she made eons ago. I want to live with Wesley. I want to be by his side through it all, even if that means growing old and dying with him. That is what I want. That is all I have ever wanted, and he has given that to me. He gives me that every day without asking for anything in return. That’s love. Not this. Not a gift to prove yourself.”

I dropped her hands and stepped back, clenching my fists and my jaw. My eyes squeezed shut to block the water threatening to spill, and I swallowed against the tightness in my throat and chest.

“But I do love you, Haven. You’re my daughter,” she whispered.

I looked at her, and her red-rimmed and glassy eyes and pained face mirrored how I knew mine must look.

“I wanted to prove to you I do love you. That I’ve always loved you,” she breathed. “I wanted to do this for you.”

“And yet again, all you’ve done is prove how selfish you are. You’re not doing this for me, not offering this gift for me. You’re doing it for you, so you can have what you want. But I am not a replacement for Asteria. I am my own person, with my own feelings, thoughts, and desires, and none of them are to live out my days trapped here with you.”

Her jaw clenched at my words, and her lip trembled, but she said nothing.

“I understand what you think you’re trying to do,” I murmured. “I am grateful you finally tried to fight for me. But I cannot accept your gift. It would destroy everything in me, everything I’ve built with Wesley at my side,” I told her, my hands pressing against my heart as a tear fell down my cheek. “Please don’t take the life I’ve dreamed of away from me.”

She inhaled, her breath shaking as it passed into her lungs. Her eyes traversed the temple, lingering on each pillar, on each painting she had of Asteria and me. When they finally returned to my face, she pressed her lips together and nodded.

“You’re right,” she choked out. “You are right. I shouldn’t use you to replace what I’ve lost. I shouldn’t treat you as another Asteria because you aren’t. You are Haven.”

She took slow steps towards me, almost floating with how gracefully she moved. Her slender fingers reached for my wild hair, smoothing it and tucking it behind my ear, then wiping the tear from my cheek. “But you are still my daughter. My beautiful, strong, and brave daughter.”

Her hands cupped my face, and she kissed the top of my head. “I am so proud of the woman you have become. You will be a wonderful luna for your mate’s pack. You are exactly what he needed, what they all needed.”

My lip quivered, and I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around her and allowing her to embrace me, to hold me as a mother would hold a daughter. I closed my eyes and let the warmth, light, and love fill me and wrap around me.

“I still may give you a gift,” she whispered into my hair, her hands rubbing my back. “Zeus allowed for one gift. You may have turned down what I had in mind, but I will still give you something.”

“Like what?” I asked, tipping my head to look at her.

“Anything. But,” she added as I opened my mouth, stopping me before I could say what I wanted. “But I cannot give you a wolf,” she told me.

I frowned and shook my head. “I don’t want a wolf,” I told her. “But can I ask why not?”

“You may, although based on your response, I think you already know part of the reason I cannot.”

“Because I don’t want one?”

“Exactly,” she told me. She stepped back and placed her hands on my shoulders. “But also, because your body has not been prepared for a wolf like the bodies of my warriors. Even Eydís and her friends were trained fighters when I turned them, and they had formed their bond with their wolf companions naturally and slowly. If I gave you a wolf, your human body wouldn’t have the time to adjust to it naturally.”

“Would it kill me?” I whispered.

“No, but it would affect your body. You would be in extreme pain while in your human form, and you would be unable to dance.”

“I would hate that,” I said.

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