Page 154 of The Alpha's Pen Pal

“And I’m yours?” I whispered.

I was terrified to hear his answer. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to say yes or if I wanted him to say no. If he said yes, it would raise so many more questions and insecurities I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with. But if he said no, I knew that would hurt more than I wanted to admit to myself.

“Yes,” he replied. “You’re mine.”

“Your soulmate,” I added. He nodded. “And there’s some sort of a magical bond between us? Tying us together? The… mate bond, Dr. Russo called it?”

“That’s what we call it, yeah.”

“Is that why I can sense your emotions?” I asked, and he nodded again. “Can you sense mine?”

“I can.”

“What am I feeling right now?”

“Hurt and confused and overwhelmed. Hurt because I ignored you after you asked me for space. Confused because you understand why I did what I did, and you respect the choice I made to help my dad and our pack, but it resulted in you getting hurt. Both physically and emotionally. And overwhelmed because you don’t know what to make of all of this and how you feel about it.”

I swallowed against the tightness in my throat and blinked against the wetness in my eyes, tilting my head to the ceiling to hide it from him. I had cried too much already.

I hated that he not only could feel my emotions, but he even understood where each of them came from. I didn’t know if that was from the bond or because he knew me that well, understood me that well, but either way, I did not like it.

But he was right. I was hurt and confused and overwhelmed. And I still had more questions. I just wanted to rest—both my body and my brain—but I needed to get everything out in the open between us first.

“I have two more questions,” I said, looking at him again.

“I’m listening.”

I thought for a moment—thought about which question to ask him first. Which answer I wanted to hear first. They were both significant questions, both questions that the answer could make or break me.

“How long have you known I’m your mate?” I muttered, deciding that question was better to ask first. His answer would determine whether I asked him the other question I wanted to ask.

Blossoming understanding hit me from his side of the—the bond—and I held my breath as I awaited his answer.

“I didn’t know until I saw you last night in the hospital. I smelled you on Sebastian, and my lycan recognized your scent as the scent of his mate. And once I saw you, the bond between us fell into place,” he explained.

My held breath came out on a shaky sob, heavy relief sinking into every fiber of my being. I didn’t realize how much I needed that to be his answer until he said it. How scared I was of the other option.

My trembling hands wiped the tears that fell from my eyes. “So you weren’t just… you didn’t just… just—”

“Didn’t just what, Haven?” Wesley asked, taking a step towards me, finally moving from his pose against the wall by the door.

“I just wanted to know whether you wanted to be with me because you wanted me or because there was some… some magical thing connecting me to you, saying you had to be with me,” I choked out.

He crossed the room in long, hurried strides and sat on the edge of the bed, his hands cupping my face. “No! Shit, no, that’s not it at all, Haven. I wanted to date you because I wanted to. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done because… because I love you, Haven.”

I lifted my eyes to his, holding his stare, inhaling sharply.

“You love me?” I whispered.

He nodded, his thumbs swiping at the tears streaming down my cheeks, leaving little tingles in their wake.

“I do,” he said. “I love you so much, Haven.”

“Why?” I asked. “Because of some magical bond?”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head and moving closer to me. “I love you because you’re you. I love you because you’re my best friend. You are the only person who truly calls me out on my shit and doesn’t sugarcoat it, and you’ve done that since day one. You’re the first person I think of every day and the last person I think of at night. I can’t imagine my life without you in it, because you are my life. I love everything about you, from your fiery red hair to your matching attitude when you don’t listen to me. I love you, and I think I always have. I was just too young to understand it, and then too stubborn to realize it.”

I could sense the honesty behind his words, sense his sincerity, his love for me. All of it was there, in the bond and in his confession, laid out for me to see, hear, and understand.

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