Page 118 of The Alpha's Pen Pal

I rubbed my hand over my face and slipped my sweatpants back on. “I wasn’t thinking, I just acted. I knew I needed to tell her, and shifting seemed like a good idea.”

“We were literally right here. You could have waited like two more minutes,” he yelled. “We talked through how this should go the other day when you asked me to be here for this. But no. Future alpha had to do things his own way. Had to show off and—”

My fist connected with his jaw before he could finish his sentence. His head snapped back, and he grunted, but he turned to face me again as I readied myself for another hit.

“Nolan!” Rachel cried, but Nolan put his hand out to stop her from interfering.

“You didn’t even think about how she would feel or react when she watched you shift into a monster. You only care about you and what you want and how you think things should be,” he continued, undeterred by my punch.

He was goading me, and I knew it. Egging me on to get me to let out my anger at myself.

I launched myself at him and took him down to the damp grass beneath us, laying him out flat on his back. Haven’s scent lingered on him lightly from when he’d grabbed her, fueling my ire towards him.

I pulled back to punch him again, but he flipped us so he was on top, his knee about to aim for my groin. I growled and pushed him off of me, and we both scrambled to our feet, getting into position and assessing each other again.

But Rachel jumped between us, her arms held out to stop us from attacking again. “You’re both being ridiculous,” she growled, her eyes flashing. “This isn’t how you fix things with Haven!” she yelled, pointing at me. “Beating up your gamma? The one who is supposed to protect her?”

I dropped my hands, and Nolan did the same, even having the wherewithal to look contrite as he did. “Sorry, Wesley,” he said to me. “And sorry, Sunshine,” he muttered to Rachel.

She nodded with satisfaction, then looked at me expectantly. “Sorry, Nolan,” I grunted. “And thank you,” I added.

I cracked my neck, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath, my eyes landing on the place Haven had stood in only minutes before. “Follow her,” I ordered Nolan. “Make sure she gets home safely. But try not to let her see you. Unless you have to.”

My eyes never left the spot she’d stood in as I commanded my future gamma to ensure the safety of my Sugar Plum. They stayed there even as he shifted into his red wolf and took off into the trees. I didn’t withdraw them even as Rachel picked up Nolan’s clothes and left the yard.

I knew she’d freak out, knew she’d probably be frightened, but it didn’t make it hurt less. The look of sheer terror in her eyes as she stared at my lycan was more painful than I’d imagined it would be. And that she thought we might be capable of hurting her? That was even worse.

“Fuck!” I muttered to myself and finally moved out of the backyard and into my house.

I stormed through my house to my bedroom and straight into my bathroom, where I turned the shower on. Her scent lingered everywhere in my house. Sweet and strong, it called to me and my lycan, urging me to go after her, to explain better and make her understand that while I had an animal, a beast, inside me, I would never cause her harm. We could never do that to her.

But she had asked for space and time, and I would give her space and time. Even if it hurt like hell. Even if it went against every primal instinct of my kind when it came to our mates. Even if it killed me.

I deserved it anyway. It was my own damn fault it happened the way it did. If I had kept better control of myself, if I hadn’t been thinking with my fucking dick, then it would be different.

But I’d had a taste of her. I’d spent the night giving her little body pleasure in every way I could imagine, and it would be too hard to let her go if that’s what she wanted.

“So fucking stupid,” I grunted, my fist slamming into the bathroom counter. “So fucking selfish!”

I turned to enter the shower but then stopped. I didn’t want to wash her scent off me. I wanted to wear it around the pack like a badge of honor. Wanted everyone to know just what I had been doing all night with Haven.

So instead, I turned the shower off and got changed into jeans and a T-shirt so I could go to the packhouse.

As much as I didn’t want to, I needed to tell my dad what had happened. He’d be pissed I’d told Haven about us since I hadn’t gotten permission first, but I hoped he would understand why I did. I tried mindlinking him, but he had his barrier up, so I guessed I would have to surprise him.

I rushed out of my house and over to the packhouse, bursting into my dad’s office without knocking.

But instead of finding him in there like I usually did on Fridays, I only saw my mom and Gamma Felix.

“Where’s Dad?” I asked.

“In a meeting,” she murmured, gesturing towards the door at the back of the room that led into the conference room on the other side.

The main entrance to it was in a different hallway, but Dad had specifically put a door in between the conference room and his office to have easier access to his office for private discussions when he met with other alphas.

I pushed through the door, not caring to find out what the meeting was about or who it was with. I needed to talk with him as soon as possible to get his advice on what to do next.

“Dad, I—”

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