Page 19 of Beauty Sleep

WTF, man???

You’ve been talking about that idea for months! I’m gonna kick Darren’s ass into the sun, just say the word

…Or you can pretend to be me and I’ll dress up as you…

Like a 2000s comedy

(Dibs on Renée Zellweger playing me)

That’s why he’s my best friend. He can make me laugh in less than twenty seconds, even when I’m pissed off. I snort, swiping to respond to that last message.

PRINCE:

You’ll be sorry when I play myself & we end up becoming besties…

Then I scroll down the wall of text, leaning against the dresser to tug my jeans on.

QUARREL:

Then we do a big reveal and Darren falls to his knees in apology and worships your musical genius!!!

(In the R-rated cut, he’ll worship your cock as a metaphor for your musical genius)

Just let me know and I’ll brush up on my aloof sarcasm and commanding presence and steal your clothes

It’s easy to play me, just wear Crocs and have 70 thoughts per minute and say them all

As I reach the bottom, my phone buzzes with Quarrel’s answer to me.

QUARREL:

But then I get to be besties by proxy, AND she’ll inhabit my psyche so deeply that we’ll understand one another without words

PRINCE:

Nobody ever believes me when I tell them you’re the biggest dork I’ve ever met

Now I have Exhibit A

QUARREL:

Did I mention there’s an agent who scouts you? And your DJ career takes off? And you meet the love of your life???

(Who is definitely not Darren despite the dick-sucking apology…)

(BUT! Maybe he awkwardly interrupts the dick-sucking apology and you all laugh sheepishly but meaningfully?)

(Except Darren, because his mouth is full)

…At least we have time to workshop this, you’ve been single long enough

“Fucking ouch,” I grumble, flipping off my phone screen.

PRINCE:

You’re supposed to be making me feel better, you prick

QUARREL:

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